Static
by qxis
Summary: She was a catastrophe just waiting to happen. A kryptonite, one far more devastating than Mr Robot. But maybe that's what he needed all along. [ElliotxOC] Mention of sensitive themes. You were warned.
1. Disclaimers

Hi all. Thanks for tuning in. This first part is just a list of disclaimers etc so I don't have to annoy you all by repeating it in every chapter.

The goal is to finish this story by August, but we'll see where the idea-fairy takes us.

All the images that are used / will be used are not mine unless explicitly stated. The cover photo was from USA Network, I placed it there so you can stare at Rami's god-like features while you delve into my story.

I don't own the Mr Robot characters nor any timeline that is canon to the series. I own my OCs and my non-canon storylines.

This is also posted on Wattpad. I'm trying to gauge the audience on both sites, and once I'm aware of whichever is more reactive to this story, I'll take it down on the other site.

If I missed anything, let me know.

I'm not writing this story for profit. I just want to be able to finish something for once, and I would like to add to the not-abundant-enough number of Mr Robot (and Rami) fanfics.

Cheers,

Q.


	2. Chapter 1: Re-Introduction

**CHAPTER 1**

 **Re-Introduction.**

/ - Elliot POV - /

 _It's not as if I need to be here. Why am I wasting my time? Why didn't I get a top up from Shayla? Was this a mistake? No, I never make mistakes. There has to be something important. What was it? Why can't I remember?_

Elliot blinked. Someone was saying something to him, but his thoughts were running much too savagely through his mind for him to focus. Someone waved a hand in front of his face. Was that Angela? Ollie? Oh yes, the conversation they had just had.

A couple more blinks, combined with sheer willpower, snapped him out of his reverie. His attention then zoomed in on a group of suits sauntering into the office. He skimmed through their faces, placing a name to all of them and mentally recalling all their individual flaws he had found when hacking through their accounts. They were all powerful in some way or another, and they all abused their influence.

 _Disgusting._

 _Hang on._

An odd figure captured his attention and Elliot felt his brow wrinkle in confusion. He forced his face to smooth out, lowering his head to avoid being noticed. It didn't help much but he felt safer.

There was a female in the group. She was dressed in a suit and stood just a little below the other men in terms of height. That was why he hadn't noticed her initially, she blended in so well with the group.

 _Why is there a girl with a bunch of suits?_

Zooming in on her name badge, Elliot made a mental note to look her up. If she was here with the big-shots, she had to be important in some way. It would have been more inconspicuous if he had continued to work as Gideon led the group through the different units, but Elliot found his mind racing and his fingers frozen. The sound of voices increased as the suits moved closer to Elliot's unit, and he finally forced his fingers to move, typing slowly.

When the young man stopped behind his seat, Elliot started to panic. It was all he could do not to hyperventilate in his seat, so unsettled was his mind. As the executive spoke, somewhat arrogantly, Elliot focused in on his hair and eyebrows.

 _Over-grooming... This one seems like a psychopath._

"Sir. If you could stay with the group." A stern female voice jutted into both Elliot's thoughts and Tyrell's words. Or at least Elliot thought his name was Tyrell.

"Ah, yes of course. I'll be right with you Gwen. Bon Soir, Elliot," the executive said, turning swiftly on his heels and striding past the woman. Gwen met Elliot's eyes briefly and he thought he saw them soften slightly before she too turned away.

 _Do I know her from somewhere?_

For the rest of the day, he struggled to stay focused on his mundane duties. A voice in the back of his head urged him to hurry home and delve into Gwen's background, exposing her secrets. He hated not knowing and there was a lot about Gwen that he didn't know. Why had she looked at him so familiarly? What was a girl doing with a group of suits?

/ - Gwen POV - /

Gwen tapped her gloved fingers impatiently against the steering wheel. Tyrell was taking his merry time, bidding Gideon farewell and laying down foundations of false promises and a sense of security. She wasn't an idiot. She knew he planned to take all E-corp's security systems inside. There was no use for an external source of protection, in fact, it seemed a whole lot less safe having an odd factor between the company and their security.

The door to the car clicked open and the executive slid onto the leather seats. He ran a hand slowly through his smooth hair and eyed Gwen through the mirror. His eyes seemed to pierce hers and she gripped the steering wheel tightly, forcing herself to keep the eye-contact.

It seemed as if it were an eternity before he broke off their visual exchange and glanced out the window. "Drive. I need to get home."

Gwen rolled up her side window and started the car. She hated his bluntness and knew he reveled in treating her like a slave. And perhaps it was true to an extent. Her being a slave, that is. She was like a dog on a leash, following her master who held a wad of cash in front of her nose. She needed the money and this job paid well for someone of her economic status. This dog would continue to sniff out its bone, fully aware of the collar around its neck.

As she drove past the street leading into Chinatown, her mind slipped back to Elliot, at the office. It seemed that what Darlene had told her was true. He hadn't shown any sign of recognizing her, and so she had to keep her promise. She wouldn't force anything out of him, even if it meant pretending.

After all, she was good at pretending.

/ - ? POV - /

"What's the status report?"

"All is fine, no sign of her figuring anything out, sir." The man blew out a cloud of smoke as he took the cigarette from his lips. He was perched on a seat on his balcony, viewing the people walk along the road below him. The sun was hidden behind the clouds, casting a dull white light on everything. He found that he preferred this atmosphere to a sunny day. The sun was so intrusive, he felt. Always forcing everything to seem so happy. Sometimes people just wanted to be sad.

"Good. Stay hidden for now. I will contact you with your next assignment."

"Okay." Snapping the cell phone shut, he leaned back in his chair. Closing his eyes, the man lifted his chin up and enjoyed the peace. His ears tuned in to the sound of cars and let the bustle of people blend smoothly until it was just white noise. Complacency was an unbecoming trait, but perhaps he could allow himself time to relax every once in a while.

The front door on the first floor closed, a little louder on its frame than he would have preferred. Sighing, he opened his eyes and lifted himself up slowly. He stretched his arms above his head and turned to walk into the house. The girl in front of him placed her bags down and slipped her gloves off. She tucked her hair behind her ears and raised her gaze to meet his.

"I'm home, Chen."

"Welcome home, Gwen." He smiled and walked toward her. She allowed him to embrace her, sinking slowly into his hug. "How was work today?" He asked, laughing softly when she groaned into his shirt.

Gwen moved softly away from him and leaned back on the counter, "Tyrell was being his usual dickhead self. The group had a tour of Allsafe and I was asked to come along. The place isn't even close to the dodgy areas of the town, but Terry Colby is a coward. Insisted I come along in case anyone in Allsafe had a vendetta against them. The man doesn't realise that the people there are living off of his scraps. No sane person is going to stab their money source."

Gwen's gaze dropped to the floor and she fell silent. Chen frowned softly, knowing something was up. "Did something happen? Why are you distracted?"

"No, it's just... I ran into someone I thought I'd met a while ago. Someone I'd met before I met you."

He let her words sink in and sighed in understanding. He ran a hand through his hair, although he barely had enough hair to do so. When he had first met Gwen, she wasn't in the best state. And by that, he meant he found her lying in an alley, bleeding to death with bruises and cuts all over her body.

He had taken her home and patched her up himself. Upon finding out she had no home to go back to, he had opened the doors of his to her and they had been living in a symbiotic relationship since then. That had been nearly a year ago.

Sometimes he felt as if their relationship bordered on something closer, but it was abundantly clear that whatever that something was, Gwen was far from ready for it.

"Chen?"

"Hm?"

"Let's just have takeout tonight and watch a movie. I've got so much on my mind I just want to drown it out." Gwen moved to the bathroom, sliding off her jacket. She looked at him over her shoulder and a smile graced her lips. His heart swelled at the sight of her, knowing she was putting in an effort to cause him less worry.

"I actually have to go talk to someone for work later, but I'll pick up some food on my way home. I'll see you at seven o'clock, okay?"

Gwen murmured her agreement as she slipped into the bathroom. Chen waited until he could hear the water running in the bath before he put his coat on and left the house.

/ - Elliot POV - /

The keys of his keyboard were suffering from his onslaught. Elliot was at his wit's end with this girl. Gwen had no trace of her existence on the internet. He had run tags with her appearance and her name through many databases and nothing came up. She was like a ghost and that annoyed him to no extent.

 _Why is she so important, anyway?_

"She's _important_ because she _looked_ at me weirdly!" Elliot slammed his fists on the desk beside his keyboard. His breathing had deepened and his chest heaved after his outcry. Who was he even talking to? And they were right. Just because she had looked at him weirdly he felt obligated to hack her. Perhaps she looked at everyone like that and he had misinterpreted her expression. If he couldn't remember her then surely, they'd never met before.

 _I need a line_.

His actions were precise, hurried and a little erratic. His muscles remembered the routine as he crushed the pill, cut a line and snorted it in three swift motions. Elliot leaned back onto his couch and let the high take him. He wouldn't worry about her anymore. She was such a waste of time.

The men in black that were following him were more important, and he had to focus on that. There was no time to be worrying about some weird girl with a bunch of suits.

 _Suits that killed your father._

 _Shit. Where is my suboxone?_

 _I need to get more._

The thoughts jumping around his head were slippery, and try as he might to focus, to grab on to any of them, his mind kept fleeing from his grasps. He grabbed his phone, dialing Shayla.

 **End Chapter 1.**


	3. Chapter 2: Wheels

**CHAPTER 2**

 **Wheels.**

/ - Chen POV - /

Chen gripped his binocular, adjusting them so that they were in focus. He was inside an office building opposite to Allsafe and had watched as the blonde girl and her Asian colleague frantically rushed to fix the bug that had been planted into their system. He didn't know what fsociety wanted to gain through this attack. The morons seemed like useless ants.

He hated people who wasted him time. It was something he had learnt from a person he considered a friend. Time was precious and we never have enough of it. That was why Gwen was so precious to him. She allowed him to breathe and relax, living in the moment and focusing on the present rather than planning five steps ahead.

A hooded figure rushed into the Allsafe room and Chen focused his mind once more. With the hood off, he could make out the person clearly. They seemed hunched and uncomfortable being in the presence of the other people. Chen could make out some arm movements, obvious signs of raised voices before the newcomer sat at a PC and began typing furiously. After what seemed like an eternity, the person leaned back on their chair. The lines of code were still running on the screen in front of them. Had they just given up?

Another person arrived. Gideon, Chen recognized him. What was the big boss doing? Were the techies so incompetent that they couldn't deal with fsociety's hack?

Although, that was what made the revolutionary group so effective. Their malicious software was discrete and smart. Of course, a couple of office techies wouldn't be able to fight it.

There was some more frantic moving before Gideon and the hooded person rushed out of the building. Chen dropped his binoculars and flipped open his phone.

He sent out a message before checking his unread ones. There was one from Gwen, asking where he had gone. It seemed that she had woken up in the middle of the night to find him missing. He felt a little bad, knowing that she was now awake and waiting for him to come home, but there were things he had to do.

Packing up his gear, he left the building and slipped back out onto the street.

"Maybe if I grab some crepes, that will make her less angry at me."

/ - Elliot POV - /

"Okay." Elliot replied to Colby, but wasn't entirely focused on the man. His gaze had slipped over Angela's shoulder to the figure standing just outside of the meeting room. She was dressed in a similar suit as the first time he saw her, although this one was dark blue. He found that he preferred her in black. The blue dulled out the colour of her hair.

 _What?_

Angela started the presentation and Elliot let his attention be drawn back to those within the meeting room. His anger bubbled slowly as Colby disrespected Angela repeatedly. When the man whispered words to Tyrell, Elliot found his mind wandering to the navy blue envelope in his back. The one on the table in front of him was white, but he had brought the other one too. He didn't know why.

Tyrell moved to talk to Gideon and Elliot watched them quietly. He felt that if Colby had something to say against Angela, he should just say it to her face rather than using separate middle-men for the job. When Tyrell and Gideon moved outside to talk, Elliot caught Gwen moving close to Tyrell to whisper to him. The man nodded in response.

As Tyrell moved back to his seat, Gideon ushered Angela outside of the room. She walked off, obviously in shame, and Elliot watched Gwen follow her. He slipped the white envelope back into his back, pulling out the blue one instead. Colby had blown his chance.

On his way home, Elliot decided to walk a different route. Which was odd, because routine made him comfortable and he preferred to be used to what he was doing. But today, his mind was running far too quickly for him to catch up and he needed a break from his stuffy apartment. Being in there would just remind him that he wasn't able to hack Gwen, and that despite her second appearance in his life, he knew nothing about her.

 _What had she followed Angela for anyway?_

He wasn't watching where he was going and bumped into someone. The person put hands on his shoulder to steady him, causing Elliot to tense up.

"Woah, man. You alright?"

"Yeah."

The man let go of his shoulders, allowing Elliot to breathe a little. He made a move to get past the guy but he spoke up, causing him to halt.

"I was actually looking for this place. I don't live around here, so I don't have any idea where I'm going. Could you point me in the right direction?"

Elliot's mind blanked and he grimaced internally. Out of all the people this guy could be asking for directions, he had asked the most awkward person who left the house the least. Elliot looked at the address and made a move to decline, about to tell the man he didn't know either.

A figure bounded up to the two of them, causing Elliot to pause. His eyes widened as he recognized the person. It was Gwen, and she was dressed casually. Her gloves were still on her hands but her suit was gone, in its place a pair of loose jeans and a white tee-shirt. Her brown boots matched her hair, he found himself thinking.

"Oh! Elliot. Sorry about that. Chen and I have no idea where anything is here. Do you think you could show us where to go?"

 _Oh. She has a boyfriend_.

"I uh…"

"You don't know either? That's okay! We'll ask someone else. Thanks for the help anyway. I'll see you around." Gwen grabbed Chen's arm and dragged him away, chattering happily as they left. Elliot's eyes followed the pair as they moved away. His mouth was set in a line and the gears in his head moved rigidly.

 _How did she know my name?_

He forced his thoughts to focus once more and picked up the pace home. There were more pressing matters, such as fsociety. Had he made the right choice by implicating Colby?

/ - Gwen POV - /

"You know him?"

Gwen munched happily on her pastry, relishing in the combination of savory and spicy tastes that exploded within her mouth. "Who?" She replied once she had swallowed her large bite.

"The guy we ran into earlier."

"Oh. He works at Allsafe, the place where Colby had me escort his entourage to. Twice."

"Ah." Chen sipped his coffee.

Gwen narrowed her eyes at him, "why? Does he make you curious?" She took another bite of her pastry and almost forgot what they were talking about. The food at the place they were eating at was just too damn good for a conversation like this.

"No, I just like to know if you have friends apart from me or not."

Gwen froze mid-chew and glared at Chen. "That was so uncalled for. I do have friends."

"Like who?" Chen fired back, smiling smugly at his coffee cup.

"Darlene. My dad. Uh…"

Chuckling, Chen grabbed a napkin and wiped the crumbs from Gwen's mouth. "Your dad doesn't count, so that gives you a grand total of one."

Gwen sulked for the rest of the afternoon, annoyed that Chen had brought it up. She wasn't being entirely honest, because she had known Elliot at a point, and they had been friends. But the pretense had to be kept, and it was just easier if she pretended with everyone.

Besides, she had already slipped up today. Elliot hadn't introduced himself to her and yet she had addressed him by name. The look of confusion on his face had already alluded Gwen to her mistake and she rushed to remove herself from the situation. The pastry from the café was the only thing stopping her from crying out in shame. For now, she was sedated.

Chen grabbed her hand a planted a kiss onto it as he bid her good bye. He had to meet up with a friend from work to go over some details for a project they were working on and wouldn't be home until late. That was why he had insisted that she go grab afternoon tea with him. Sometimes, Gwen wondered what it would be like to date Chen. They already lived together, and he was a perfect match for her in many ways.

But he just wasn't exciting enough for her.

Gwen's life had been a series of tumultuous events and she knew that she would continue to live these dangerous, adrenaline-filled events until the day she died. The comfort she felt with Chen was safe, but it was luring her into sleep with its boringness.

The next day, when Gwen woke, she found no trace of Chen. He had not returned home last night and she found herself worrying. She didn't know much about Chen's occupation, other than he worked with a group of other people on projects commissioned by a different organization. It was vague but provided enough background that Gwen didn't press further.

She dressed herself carefully, choosing out a light cream suit and tan shoes to match. She decided to leave her hair down, admiring the way her waves had adjusted themselves perfectly overnight. Second-day hair really looked a whole lot more stylish than first-day hair, she decided.

Tyrell hadn't called her in for work today, so she decided to keep herself busy by visiting the Chinatown area. Perhaps she would find another café that provided delicious food as the one yesterday had.

Gwen let her thoughts wander to Elliot. She hadn't planned on seeing him at Allsafe. In fact, since Darlene had stopped talking to her as frequently, she had heard next to nothing about Elliot. The only thing Gwen was aware of was that something occurred, causing him to forget a lot of stuff and she was included.

The only thing to do, to protect him from himself, was to pretend and go along with his thoughts.

Ever since she had moved away from her father, deciding to live on her own, Gwen had been sorely lacking in male company. Chen was an attractive guy, and as she had gone over yesterday, there had been instances where she considered what it would be like with him. But there was just no flame there.

 _What am I thinking?_

Surely, she wasn't leading herself into thinking that she considered Elliot as an opportunity? He was whack, even when he did remember her. Gwen loved excitement, but someone that psychotic just spelled out disaster at every turn. She had had her fair share of disaster and was content to stay away from anything unfortunate.

 _Working for E-corp is the polar opposite of staying away from unfortunate events._

 _Shut up._

A figure slid into the chair across her, causing her to look up. She wasn't even aware she had entered a shop, let alone grabbed a seat and ordered coffee. Had yesterday's thoughts really entangled her mind to this extent?

When she focused on the individual opposite her, her mouth opened and her eyes widened.

"Elli- "

"How do you know my name, Gwen?" He cut her off, staring at her with his wide eyes, full of suspicion.

She placed her coffee cup down on its plate and grabbed a napkin. She started tearing at its edges, a nervous habit she'd never gotten rid of. "Sorry?"

"Who are you?"

 **End Chapter 2.**


	4. Chapter 3: Kickstart

**Chapter 3**

 **Kickstart.**

/ - Elliot POV - /

Gwen sat across from him, nervously ripping her napkin to pieces. He actions caused him to falter a little. The perfect girl who always dressed neatly and acted with class was falling apart in front of him. All he had asked was how she knew his name.

It had taken him five tries before he had walked into the store to confront her. He had been following her since she parked her car and wandered through the Chinatown streets. He had to know. Not knowing anything had been driving him insane and any longer and he would have to break his rule. He didn't want to cope with all his problems by using drugs.

 _So here you are, instead. Doing what you dread the most._

Gwen seemed to be having a mental battle. Her eyes flicked back and forth, almost as though she were having a conversation with someone and there were too many details to keep up with.

"Gwen. You don't exist. No Facebook, no nothing."

At his comments, her eyes flicked up and she placed the napkin down.

 _Crap. He had given her a way out of his initial query_.

"I don't use social media. The internet scares me. Someone close to me met their downfall because of the internet."

At this, Elliot hesitated. There seemed to be more to the girl in front of him than he had initially thought. She was unravelling before him.

 _Good._

"My name."

"Oh uh," Gwen picked up her napkin again, "Angela told me your name when she left the meeting room. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. It's just, you never see techies in a meeting with the big-shots like that. I was just curious."

 _Right… As if. Angela would have mentioned her if they had spoken_.

Gwen, as if sensing his suspicions and doubts, sighed. When she placed her napkin down this time, she instead picked up her phone. She sent a text to someone, probably the Chen guy from yesterday. She put her phone back in her hand bag and turned to face Elliot. "Let's go. I'll explain when we leave."

He was not expecting this. His mind was reeling as Gwen stood up. There was so much more to this than he had originally anticipated, if she required him to go somewhere with her before explaining. He shuffled behind her, contemplating turning around and heading home. She was dangerous, and he couldn't decide whether or not it was worth it to follow her.

A thought jumped into his head as he walked behind her, dodging the people who rushed to get to their destinations.

 _She seems to know where she's going, a lot better than yesterday_.

Elliot blinked as he realised Gwen had slowed her pace and was now walking beside him. He noticed she had matched her footsteps with his and they were walking to the same pace. It was soothing, for some odd reason.

He picked up his pace, frustrated at these confusing feelings.

Twenty or so minutes of walking later, with no verbal exchange, Gwen stopped. Elliot snapped out of his mind-blank and looked around. There were trees and stone blocks all over the grass.

 _Those are tombstones._

Elliot stumbled back. "What?"

"I'm sorry, I know it's weird to take you to the graveyard after saying that I'd explain to you. I just thought that being here would help to kickstart your memory. Remind you of what you'd forgotten."

 _What?_

 _What is she talking about? What did I forget?_

Gwen sat down on the grass, smoothing out the place next to her. Of course, grass being grass, it just snapped back after her hand left it. Nevertheless, Elliot found her actions cute. He hesitated, staring down at her. He had so many questions, but being here with her unnerved him to no end. He was far too sober and way out of his comfort zone.

He sat.

"So," she began, taking a deep breath, as though her next words had to be forced out, "when we first met, it was here."

Elliot froze. Her words sank in and his thoughts jumped about. She continued, unaware of his mental stress.

"I was at my mother's grave, with a bunch of frangipanes in my hand. My mom really liked those flowers, always thought they reminded her of innocence and purity. It was fucking ironic really."

Gwen's cuss caused Elliot to stiffen. It wasn't as though he wasn't used to swearing. He himself swore a lot. It just didn't seem to fit the image of Gwen he had mentally built up. After all, with nothing to hack, he only had his imagination to supply the information about her.

"I just stood there. I didn't even cry. Just stood there from the afternoon all the way until it was dark. I just couldn't believe she was dead, you know? And then someone behind me just said 'Hey'. It was like their voice snapped me out of my numbness, and I just started crying. Can you believe that? The first word you ever said to me made me cry.

"You asked me if I was going to put those flowers by her grave, or if I would keep holding on to them forever. Then you took them from me and placed them down yourself. Told me to go home. I didn't, of course. I followed you when you left and wandered with you as you reached the pier. You just stood there with me, staring out into the dark. I had only known you for a little while and hadn't said a word to you, but I didn't want you to leave."

Gwen took another deep breath as her voice shook. Elliot didn't look at her. He knew that her eyes were watering, just by how much her voice was quivering. He didn't handle crying very well. He didn't even know how to handle himself crying.

 _Make her stop._

"I just… You took me back to your apartment that night and let me drink away my sorrows. When I woke the next day, you were gone. I let myself out, believing that I would never see you again. But after that day, I kept bumping into you. Either at the grocery store or on the street. I think it was a month or so of that happening before you finally gave me your name. And I told you mine. It felt nice, to be able to tell someone.

"Then I had to move away for a bit. My dad ran into a little bit of trouble, broken arm. He couldn't work for a few months so I moved in with him to take care of him. I moved back here a year or so ago but I never saw you again. Until that day at the office. I was so shocked to see you, but I had to keep calm. And then you acted like you didn't know who I was, so I thought that you hated me. I just kept pretending."

She took another deep breath, but her hiccup gave her away. He was aware that she was now full-on crying. The stress kept building up in his chest, but he had to hear the end. She had to keep going.

"It's okay if you don't remember, Elliot. Maybe it's better like this. I enjoyed the time we had while it lasted. Thanks for saving me back then."

There was a rustle and Elliot felt movement beside him. His eyes remained fixed on her mom's tombstone as she stood. When Gwen walked away, Elliot breathed out a sigh of relief. The tightness in his chest had eased up. He got up slowly and popped his hood on. As he moved to leave, he noticed a piece of paper on the grass where she had been sitting. He picked it up.

/ - Gwen POV - /

 _What the fuck have I done?_

She bounced on her toes and swung her leg up for another kick. The impact against the sandbag shook through her entire body and she relished in the feeling. When her stress levels got too high, she enjoyed beating the nervousness out of her system. It made her feel powerful and in control.

Darlene had specifically told her not to reveal herself to Elliot and she had gone and done it anyway. She couldn't help it. Given the circumstances in which they had met, it was hard for her not give in to him. He was the first person to comfort her after her break down and he had nestled his way into her life. The sudden absence of him after she had returned had caused an ache in her heart, but that had been capped by Chen. He had distracted her from her emotions.

After revealing her soul to Elliot again, she felt as if the lid had slipped and all of the negative, horrible feelings slipped out again. She wasn't a needy person by any means. She liked to give people her space.

In truth, she didn't chase much. If someone wanted to spend time with her, they would have to seek it. But that was the thing about Elliot. He had never made it clear that he wanted her to be there and yet she still kept coming back, all those years ago. Perhaps she liked the challenge. Being chased was fun, but he gave her a taste of what it felt like to be the one on the hunt.

As she gave the sand bag a couple of last hits, she wiped the sweat off her body with a towel and trudged back to the locker room. No one was in the gym at this time, so she could take her time in the showers. Normally, she would rush home to have dinner with Chen and perhaps watch a movie before drifting off. Especially considering he hadn't made it home last night and she hadn't been home all of that day, she had expected to be missing him.

Instead, her thoughts were drawn to Elliot and his eyes. He hadn't looked at her once during her explanation. The only indication of his expression was the clenching of his fists every now and then.

She hadn't even meant to drop him the piece of paper. But it was too late by the time she realised that she had left it there. Perhaps he would act on it, perhaps not. It wasn't as if he could seek her out anyway. There was no trace of her that left any detail on how she could be contacted. Unless he stalked her back to Chen's home, there was no way he would be able to talk to her.

No, if, when she wanted to talk to him, it would be her approaching him.

 **End Chapter 3.**


	5. Chapter 4: Tiptoes

**Chapter 4**

 **Tip-toes.**

/ - Elliot POV - /

The paper sat idly by his keyboard and Elliot continued to stare at the four letters scribbled on the page. His fingers itched to delve into the wealth of information he knew that these letters held, but something made him pause.

He thought back to Gwen's words earlier and scrunched his eyes in frustration. How was a single girl causing him so much trouble? They'd all had their fair share of trauma so why was hers irking him so much. All he had to do was hack her, absorb all of her information, burn it on a disk and shove it away under his desk.

Perhaps by doing that, he would be over this and move on with his life.

The fact that fsociety hadn't contacted him, and there was no news of Colby's involvement in the hack a few days ago was doing his head in too. He was sitting here, stressing and worrying. There was too much going on and his mind couldn't keep up. These stress levels were not good.

 _Fuck it._

He opened up a search bar, reiterating the parameters he had used a few days ago when Gwen had first appeared (re-appeared?) in his life. Except this time, the name he searched with was different.

 _Lana._

That was what was scribbled on the page. Just that name. Elliot's heart raced with anticipation as he clicked 'search'. His heart nearly burst out of his chest when the results appeared on the screen. There she was, golden brown hair, piercing brown eyes. Smiling back at him in a series of selfies.

He breathed a sigh. He had found her. Finally, his obsession would be satiated and he could move on.

As Elliot clicked through the search files and looked through her social media, he felt frustration building up again. None of these had been used in the past year. She had mentioned that she moved back here a year ago, after helping her father. Had she really not used any social media since then?

He made up his mind. He had to figure her out to be able to move on with his life. This much stress was not good for him.

Standing up, Elliot threw his hood on and left his apartment.

/ - Gwen POV - /

She locked her locker and slung her bag over her shoulder. Flicking off the lights and slipping her shoes on, she slipped out of the gym. It was late, but not late enough that Chen would be asleep yet. Maybe she could catch him before he knocked out on her. There were too many things on her mind and talking to him usually helped to dissipate the knots.

Keeping her head low, Gwen hurried toward where she had parked her car. Upon bumping into someone, she stumbled back. Her heart raced. She hated being in anyone's company when it was this dark outside. It brought back unpleasant memories for her.

"Gwen."

The voice that called her name had her pausing. She looked at him as he slid his hood back to reveal the hair that she used to adore so much.

 _What?_

"Elliot… Hi. What are you doing here?" She was surprised. She hadn't thought he would be able to find her, but it looked like he had. And there she was, planning on hunting him down when she felt ready to confront him again. This was definitely something that would be preventing her from sleeping tonight.

"Can we uh… give you my number?"

"What?" She was not expecting that. This was so out of character for Elliot. She knew he wasn't interested in her like that. For the time she had known Elliot, he hadn't shown the ability to be romantically connected to anything. He knew how to be possessive, that was for sure. But romance? No.

"Just give me your phone."

"O… kay." She drew her mobile from her bag and handed it to him. As he tapped away on her phone, she looked up at the moon. So many events were happening that she hadn't expected recently. It was good. She was getting bored of the routine that her life had become.

"Here." Elliot passed her phone back. The screen showed a contact with his name and a phone number. That was it, no email no image. That was so typical of him.

"Is it," Gwen hesitated. She didn't want to breach his comfort zone, but she really didn't feel safe being alone and she didn't want him alone either. Perhaps the things that happened to her wouldn't occur to him, but she wanted to be careful nevertheless. "Do you want a life back to your place? My car is parked a few blocks down from here."

Elliot seemed to be battling mentally but finally nodded. He pulled his hood back up and watched her expectantly. She turned on her heel and led the way to her car.

The drive to his place was calming, quiet even. She smiled to herself as the familiar steps to his apartment came into view. She parked a little down the street and turned to him. He was looking at his feet and she frowned. Maybe she had made him too uncomfortable by asking if he wanted a lift home?

"Do you… Do you want to come in?"

 _What?_

Had she heard that right? Had he just asked if she wanted to come into his apartment? Gwen blinked.

"Is that alright?" She found herself saying. Surprisingly enough, she wasn't berating her decision mentally. Maybe this was good, maybe she should make decisions like this. It was fun.

Elliot nodded and opened the car door. Gwen grabbed her belongings and followed him, double checking that her car was locked first.

It almost brought her to tears, the feeling of nostalgia as she followed him inside. Elliot stood awkwardly in the centre of his kitchen, wringing his hands out in front of him. He was the definition of nervous, at that point.

Gwen felt her heart melt. "Is it alright if I sit?"

"Uh, yeah."

Taking that cue, she placed herself down on the edge of his bed, her hand absent-mindedly rubbing against his bed sheets. Elliot sat down in his computer seat and swung around rigidly to face her.

"Did you ask me to come in for a reason?" She knew it was unfair to put him on the spot. The fact that he even asked her to come in must have been a difficult move for her. But she couldn't help it. She wanted to know that she was wanted.

"You make me curious."

Gwen blinked. She had not been expecting that admission. Elliot just didn't seem as if he was ever going to stop running away from her questions.

"Why?"

"You don't… exist." Elliot gripped his legs tightly and Gwen could tell he was frustrated. Had he looked her up? Had he… hacked her?

She knew that was what he would do as soon as she realised she had left the piece of paper there at the cemetery. That was what Elliot did when he wanted to know more about someone. And she knew there was nothing about her on the internet, not past that date a year or so ago. It wasn't surprising to see him so annoyed. He hadn't gotten any more answers than what he had when he couldn't remember her real name.

"Yeah I told you. I don't like to use the internet."

/ - Elliot POV - /

Elliot waited until Gwen relaxed and leaned back into his bed. The way her hair fanned out on the sheets beneath her took his breath away. He knew how to appreciate a pretty woman, even though there was hardly time for him to do that. The girl in front of him certainly fit the category. Her enigmatic nature only did more to intrigue him.

He would wait until she had left to look through her phone. He had attached a bug to her software when he used it earlier, and as long as she was connected to the internet, it wouldn't be hard for him to simulate her phone on his own computer and sift through her information. She could hide from the internet as much as she liked, but in this day and age, she had to keep her mobile updated to survive.

That type of investigating could wait, however. Gwen was here, in his apartment. Perhaps he should take this chance to get her to reveal anything else she was keeping from him.

"I- "

"Look, Elliot," Gwen cut him off, turning her head to face him. "I know you're suspicious and confused, but I really don't mean any harm. You really did save me back then, even if you didn't know it. I dunno… I guess I just felt somewhat safe with you. There was no expectations or false pretenses. You were always too busy in your own head to worry about how I was portraying myself."

Elliot picked up on a hint of regret in her voice. There was something else, a tone he was unfamiliar with. He couldn't put a finger to it.

"I know you hack. I know you tried to hack me. But if there's anything you want to know, you could just ask. I don't think there's much I would keep from you."

 _You kept your real name from me_.

Elliot shifted in his seat again. Being under her intense gaze was causing him discomfort, but he couldn't help but admire how deep her eyes looked. The colour was just so unique, so dark but so soft at the same time.

For some reason, he knew those eyes. He had seen so many different emotions pass through them, and yet he couldn't bring any of those situations to mind, no matter how hard he tried. Who was this girl?

"Has Darlene mentioned anything?"

At those words, Elliot definitely froze. _How did she know…?_

"I just… I haven't heard from fso- "

He was out of his seat and on her in seconds. He grabbed the collar of her shirt with both hands and dragged her up so she was sitting on his bed, his legs on either side of her. He knew he shouldn't be acting rashly, and that he himself knew barely anything about fsociety, but something about the way she spoke lit a spark in him.

"How do you know about fsociety?"

When she opened her mouth to reply, he shook her and brought her face even closer to his. "Don't lie to me. All you do is lie."

Her expression almost caused him to falter. Almost. The tears that slowly welled up in her eyes caused him to hesitate, but he didn't release her. There was so much happening that he wasn't aware of, and he hated being in the dark. Was this karma for his past actions?

"I thought you would remember that much." She whispered. Her voice was broken and her breathing came in huffs. He could tell she was on the verge of hyperventilating. He did that too when he was panicking. Elliot let go of her shirt and she slumped back down. He slid off of her, collapsing on the ground by the bed. His eyes were wide as he rapidly tried to collect his thoughts.

 _What did she mean by remember? I only met fsociety a few days ago._

The first sob cut through the silence of his apartment. It was followed by a series of quiet ones as if she was trying to hold down her distress. He just sat there, distraught as it hit her fully and Gwen was balling her eyes out on his bed. He couldn't believe this had happened? How had something like this occurred so quickly?

 _I'm losing time._

"I'm so," hiccup, "I'm so sorry, Ell. I've messed everything up for you. You must be so confused."

He hadn't realised he was shaking too until he heard his name spill out from her lips. She sounded desperate, and his nickname resembled a plea. All of a sudden, he was hit with memories. He could feel an impact on his head and saw the world spin. He wanted to get up, to tell Gwen to stop crying, but his memories had already taken him and he succumbed to the flashback.

 **End Chapter 4.**


	6. Chapter 5: Storms

**Author note:**

Hey all! I guess it's time I start putting in author notes. There's so much I wanted to say in the past few chapters but I wanted to remain invisible until now. I hope that hasn't painted a bad image of me! I just wanted to express the seriousness of this story. Things will really start to kick up from here. If any readers feel uncomfortable about certain themes, please let me know. Just a fair warning, there's mention of self-harm but it's never explicit. If it's a serious breach of the rating, please let me know.

Thanks to the Guest review! I'm surprised I got any feedback for this story so far. In all honesty, I'm trying to keep it going despite not receiving any feedback. I really love this show and its characters and think that it deserves a well thought out fanfic that is completed. That's the reason why I'm chugging these chapters out so quickly. There's so much character development that can happen and I can't wait to take you all on it!

Thanks so much for reading.

Enjoy this rollercoaster of a chapter ^-^

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

 **Storms.**

/ - Elliot POV - /

 _He closed the door and shrugged his bag off. The smell of cooking was still present in his apartment and he smiled at the image of Lana bustling around his cupboards, trying to find ingredients for whatever meal she had been concocting. He knew he didn't have enough groceries for her to make any real meal, but it was cute that she had tried. He had stopped by a store close to his apartment and grabbed takeout on the way back. He knew she would appreciate the thought._

 _These past few days had been stressful for her, he understood that. She was applying for work but being the daughter of her mom, places didn't want to accept her. All they could think about when they saw her last name was the scandal her mother had been involved in. It pained him to see her, curled up on his couch with her laptop, mulling over her most recent cover letter and checking over her resume. The frustration was plain in the lines that marred her forehead. He hated seeing her frown._

 _Elliot wandered into the bedroom and looked around._

 _Odd._

 _She was nowhere to be seen. The door to the bathroom was slightly ajar and the sound of water running let him know she was taking a bath. There was steam coming out from the opening and Elliot frowned. Lana never liked taking overly hot baths. It was unlike her to leave the hot water on to the point where the steam spilled out to the rest of the apartment._

 _"Lana?" He asked softly, walking toward the bathroom. He didn't want to invade her privacy, but there was something nagging him. Something just wasn't right about this situation._

 _He pushed the door to the bathroom open softly when she didn't reply to him._

 _In seconds he was by her side, lifting her up from the water._

 _Her blood had caused the water to turn a dark brown and the razor was floating on the surface. Cuts were riddled all over her arms and upper thighs and Elliot could feel his world crashing down all around him. What did he have to do? How could he save her?_

 _Was she breathing?_

 _He laid her down on the floor and felt tentatively for her pulse. He breathed out a shaky breath, she was still alive. Gently tapping her face, he called out her name. Asking her to wake up… Begging her._

 _"Please." Tears were slowly falling down his face, mixing with the sweat that had formed due to the steaminess of the bathroom. There was a cough and then Lana's body spasmed._

 _Her eyes flickered open._

 _"Ell?"_

 _There were only tears after that._

"Elliot?"

The hacker sat up quickly and massaged his temples. Damn, the headache was like a raging bull. He needed Advil. A soft hand on his bicep made him stop, and he realised where he was and who was with him. He turned to face her, taking in her features as if he had only seen them for the first time. The same panic and relief flushed through him and he knew he was crying.

 _You're so weak._

"No…" She gathered him in her arms without hesitation and Elliot let her. His cries shook his whole body and she held him as he convulsed. He was distraught but hated himself for every second he continued to break down in front of her. This was not okay. He had to get a grip of himself.

"Lana…" He gasped out, his voice strangled. The tears slipping down his cheeks fell onto his lips and the saltiness brought him back to sensibility. Slowly, he calmed and his crying ceased. She kept shushing him, running her hand up and down his upper back soothingly. All he wanted to do was latch onto her and not let go. His common sense had fled at the onslaught of his tears, and the Elliot that Gwen was seeing was a childish version of himself.

Was she even Gwen? Or Lana. He was so confused.

He simultaneously felt safe and uneasy when he was around her. He didn't know how to act in this circumstance. There had been no plan to start with, but now that she was here and pieces of his memory were coming back to him, Elliot had no hope of thinking clearly. All he could feel right now was despair, fear and anger.

 _Anger?_

 _Why am I angry?_

He tried to push it down, tried to calm his emotions. Everything was so raw and his attempts faded futilely. As if sensing the change in his demeanour, Gwen's hand stopped moving on his back and her breath hitched. She was afraid of him. Why?

It was if a switch was flicked inside of him. He was suddenly furious. How dare she be afraid of him when all she had done was hide things from him. He had woken up scared that she had died and didn't know why he was feeling that way. How dare she act so familiarly with him and not explain herself.

He had to move away from her, lest he do something he regret.

Elliot shoved himself off Gwen and backed off the bed. He paced around the foot of his bed, trying to calm his emotions. It did nothing as the sea of anger continued to swirl inside him. He tried to breathe, tried to focus on counting like Krista had taught him to do. But still, his anger increased. Letting out a cry, Elliot clutched his head.

When he looked back up to Gwen again, she was pressed up against his backboard, as if trying to make herself as small as possible. He didn't know why she was so scared, but he couldn't stop. He was furious at the way she had treated him. There was so much distance on his part and yet it felt as if she knew everything about him.

He hated it.

"Why?"

Gwen hiccuped at his growl. She seemed to press herself even further into the back board, pulling her knees close to her body.

Elliot moved closer to her and placed his hands on the bed, bringing himself to her eye level. "I asked you, why? Why are you keeping things from me?" As he moved closer, Gwen's hands rose to shield herself from him. When he was in reach, she tried to push him away but he latched onto her gloved hand. When she attempted to yank her hand back to safety, she succeeded but her glove stayed within Elliot's grasps.

His anger faded immediately and he froze, staring at the back of her hand.

"Get away from me, Elliot."

He didn't move.

"I said," her body shook as she tried to gasp out her next words.

"Get the FUCK away from me!"

Elliot scrambled away from her as she moved, leaping off his bed. She had her shoes on her feet and bag around her shoulder in seconds and before he could open his mouth, she had disappeared out his door.

He was left sitting there, on the edge of his bed, staring down at the glove in his hand. He couldn't get the image of her hand off his mind and he tried to blink it away but failed.

/ - Chen POV - /

Gwen crashed into the house with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes were wild and she clutched her left hand to her chest. Chen was over at her side in seconds as he helped her stand. When his arm met her waist, her legs gave out and he slowly lowered her to the floor. They sat together, Chen not knowing what had happened and Gwen sobbing. They stayed that way for an hour until her crying stopped and her breathing evened out.

He lifted her and carried her to the bed, slipping off her other glove and her shoes. His fingers traced the scars before he sighed and brought the covers up to her chin. Chen kissed her on the forehead before leaving the room.

He'd only spent one day away from her and she was back to the mess she had been when he first found her.

"Chen." A figure moved in the shadows and Chen leaned back on the kitchen counter.

"Sir."

"Fsociety will frame Colby for the hack a couple nights ago. In the near future, they will attempt to infiltrate Steel Mountain."

At these words, Chen scoffed. What would a bunch of ragtag hackers be able to do against the most closed off facility the nation's cyber network had to offer?

"What are your orders?" He asked.

"Follow them. I want to know how capable their leader is."

Chen moved from the counter and headed out to the balcony. The moon was small that night, but the small stars were surprisingly clear. "Who is their leader?"

"Elliot Alderson."

Chen stopped, turning back to face the other person. He was seriously disliking this Elliot person. He had his suspicions when Gwen acted as if she had known him, but he trusted her story. He needed her to stay out of this business. It would just get messy if she got involved with people like Elliot.

"Okay sir. I'll keep a lookout."

"Good. I'll send a messenger on the day you move."

Chen turned back to face the moon again. There as a gliding noise behind him and when he turned back, the person was nowhere. Sighing, he walked back to the bedroom and slipped in next to Gwen.

/ - Gwen POV - /

With dreams plagued by nightmares and memories, it was safe to say that Gwen turned up to work looking like a hot mess. It was just her luck, being called in on the one day where she was praying for a day off. Tyrell was a slave-driver and he knew it, judging by the smirk on his face when she stumbled into his office.

 _The fucking prick._

"What's the plan today, sir?" She managed to strangle out, avoiding the executive's piercing gaze. She wasn't in the mood for his pleasantries and wanted to cut straight to the point. The faster she knew what the agenda for the day was, the easier it would for her to cut out last night's pain.

The back of her left hand stung, the pain racing up her forearm and exploding in her shoulder. It was as if it flared in shame.

And she was ashamed. How had she let herself get caught in such a spider's trap? Darlene had warned her, had made her promise. And yet there she was, last night, breaking everything.

Elliot had changed since before she moved away. She was upset with his attitude and his surprising roughness, but assumed that the personality switch was due to whatever trauma Darlene said he had experienced.

Still, it was no excuse. He had successfully trashed and destroyed any remaining hope for Gwen and she wasn't about to place herself near the predator's jaws again. No, she was placing herself as far away from him as possible. There were too many things at stake for her to be in the state Chen had caught her in as she arrived home.

"Gwen? Are you even listening to me?" Tyrell was up close to her face, eyes examining her. It took all of the self-control she had mastered to remain unmoving under his scrutiny.

"Yes, sir. But I don't understand."

"I want you to follow them. Give me updates on his behaviour. I just want to know why I can't find him and how he exists."

Gwen frowned mentally. Tyrell was asking her to do a job that hadn't been part of the job description. She understood the possibility of these tasks when she had accepted his offer, but a large part of her still didn't like doing his dirty work.

"Of course. I'll be back within a week. How shall I send you updates?"

"Just text me on this number," Tyrell handed her a sticky note with a number scribbled on it, "It's far safer than my personal or work phone."

He patted her shoulder almost mockingly before he swept past her.

Gwen looked at the sticky note, her mind racing. Had she finally gotten the higher-ups in E-corp to trust her? Was this going to be what set the ball in motion for her plans?

With a small smile, she turned and strolled out, nodding to Tyrell's personal assistant. She had no time to lose if Tyrell wanted her in China. There were plane tickets to book and things to pack.

 **End Chapter 5.**


	7. Chapter 6: Space

**Author note:**

Okay so... I was hoping to keep it all a secret but I just love writing this so much. I've actually got another 4 chapters written stored away. I just have to check over them. I've been in such a rush to get these out, because I don't want to lose my plot ideas, but now that the main gist is here, I want to slow down and make everything tidier. I've been known to make my stories progress far too quickly and I'd hate for a fanfic about such an in-depth world to fall into the same curse.

But yes, never fear. I will be chugging these out as fast as can be. Maybe we will finish this by August! Anything is possible.

Maybe Elliot seems a little OOC, but I thought really hard about this. If you were someone as nervous and anxious as him, and someone like Gwen rocked up in your life claiming the things she did, wouldn't you feel frustrated too? Elliot's known to have anger issues, so I just kinda tried to envision the type of reaction he would have to her. Also, it's not explicitly stated in the show, but he really shows signs of OC behaviour. I guess I just think it wouldn't be too far-fetched for him to act toward her in a way someone who is obsessed would act.

He's confused, at the moment. That's why he's acting the way he is. Don't worry, just get through the next couple of chapters and we'll be well on our way to a balanced plot!

Apologies for the non-canonness of it right now. I'm taking advantage of the gap between the folder scene and when Colby is actually arrested :P

Enjoy, now!

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

 **Space.**

/ - Gwen POV - /

Bag filled to the brim with things she deemed essential for her week away, Gwen trudged slowly from one side of the airport to another. She'd never travelled by herself before. She hadn't even flown since her mother died. And that was years ago.

It was refreshing to be taking on this task. In a way, it was a chance for her to clear her head and come back to tackle her dreams with a fresh mind. With this getaway to China, thoughts of Elliot and his demons would vanish and she would be back to her focused self.

It wasn't really a getaway. She just wanted to make herself believe that. A part of her knew that she had accepted Tyrell's request with minimal questions because she longed for the chance to be far, far away. And besides, being this far away gave her an opportunity to delve deeper into E-corp without being too close to them. It made her feel safer.

Of course, not being in the near vicinity to where all the decisions were being made had its downfalls, but the internet was a wonderful place and although she wasn't as good as Elliot, she knew where to find the information she wanted.

"Ma'am. If you could please move forward? The line has progressed."

Gwen smiled brightly at the attendant and took a number of steps forward. See? She wasn't even on the plane yet and her thoughts were calming her to the point of spacing out. Gwen couldn't wait until the dirty feeling of last night washed completely away. A new sense of focus would take its place, she decided. She, after all, thrived when she had a goal.

The plane trip was uneventful. It wasn't as fascinating as she had recalled flights to be, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Tyrell had made her fly economy under the guise of a young entrepreneur heading to China to 'find inspiration for life'. He said that flying first class would cause unnecessary attention to be directed her way. She agreed, of course. Still, it didn't soothe her sore neck one bit.

When she finally settled into her hotel, her room being a modest apartment on the middle floor, she allowed herself some time to breathe and collect her thoughts. Tyrell's orders had been vague and he left it to her to plan her operation how she wished.

The target was a man by the name of David Ho. It would have been so much easier if that was his real name. She had made a wide search for a David Ho on the internet, but the results that appeared were too mundane for him to be her target. This person was good at pretending. The social media accounts attached to this name were being updated regularly. His LinkedIn was even up to date!

Information regarding the man that she did have were all secured within the brown folder on her lap. She didn't want to open it. By opening it, it meant that everything she came here for was real, and at the end of the day, with a task like this one, there was only bloodshed and agony to await her.

With a sigh, Gwen opened the folder.

Inside were a couple photographs or a dark silhouette in what seemed to be an office room. The lights were off and it was impossible to make out his features, but judging from the table and chair he stood next to, Gwen assumed him to be about 170cm in height. So just slightly taller than her.

She knew it wasn't a matter of stature. She could easily take him on. But men like him who were in the bad business tended to hire bigger hands for themselves. They always felt the need to flaunt their assets because their height, in their eyes, was lacking.

It worried her. She hadn't been on the field in a long time and wasn't sure if she could pull this task off.

 _Focus._

She stopped herself. She _had_ to pull it off. There were so many opportunities on the other side of China, and she had to make it back. Then the rest of her life would greet her.

Gwen flicked through the rest of the folder, picking up locations and sightings of the man. She would check those places out for clues. A small photograph fell out as she went through the last few pages of the information. Bending down to pick it up, Gwen froze. It was a clear, focused image. The man was smiling off the side, as if unaware of his photo being taken. Was this him? Was this man simply a connection? Whatever the case, she had to find this person's name and address.

She would interview him after scouring through the locations.

/ - Elliot POV - /

Sleeping was a hard task. Every time he closed his eyes, the image of Gwen in the bathtub, covered in blood filled his head. He hated that it affected him so much. He was getting so weak.

The bug he had placed on her phone was still there, but he didn't have the energy to do anything about it. On top of the memories and unpleasant images in his head, the sight of the back of her hand was what burned him the most.

How could anyone do that to somebody else. How could they mar such beautiful skin? What had she done to deserve that?

Elliot could feel the panic rising in his throat. He stumbled from his computer to his couch, searching for his pills. He couldn't find them. But he had just topped up!

 _Where are they?_

 _Fuck._

 _Fuck! Gwen._

Panic continued to bubble up as he realised she had taken all of it. Was this her punishment for him? He didn't know what to do. How could he cope? Too much was happening. Why couldn't life be simple and easy to navigate. He wished he could hack life.

Hack.

Elliot slid back onto his computer chair and tapped impatiently on the mouse. The screen flickered to life and he opened a program. Typing in the ID code for the bug he had placed on Gwen's phone, Elliot watched as the lines executed and a simulation of her phone was slowly built up.

Upon completion, he went through the ordinary applications first. She only had 5 contacts, and one of them was a person by the name of Darl.

 _Who…?_

He had a nagging suspicion he knew exactly who that referred to, but didn't press any further into it. That wasn't what he was here for. He had to know who Gwen was and what her goal was.

Then, something caught his eye.

 _Oh CRAP._

Before it was panic but now it was unbridled fear and hysteria. His fingers flew across his keyboard as he fought to save his PC from the automated hack. Someone had put on a defensive mechanism on Gwen's phone that didn't activate until the hacker was deep enough in its system. It was smart, luring him closer before shutting the door. He couldn't get out as the code spun through his software, deleting random things that Elliot knew were essential.

 _He had to fix this. There had to be a way to reverse engineer this hack._

"Fuck." He growled as he fought against the malicious program. It was as if it had a mind of its own, but Elliot knew it was automated. There had to be a way around it.

 _Think, you stupid idiot._

He could trace the program back to the time it was implemented and re-log its location on the software on Gwen's phone. If the bug had nowhere to stay, it would have to relocate and then he would grab it on its transfer and crush it.

Elliot's fingers worked fast and he knew he was sweating. There was a mixture of adrenaline and fear in his system. He wanted to save this. He still wanted to know.

Destroying his hard-disks and drives was an option but then he would lose his chance forever. Gwen would be out of his reach and he would never find a way back in.

 _Why do you care so much?_

 _Shut up._

It took him a total of 47 minutes to complete the task and by then a large portion of his PC information had been over-written. But he could fix that. The most he could do right now was continue what he had originally set out to do.

The whole thing confused him, though. He knew Gwen wasn't capable of implementing such a smart system on her phone. She was bright and she was dangerous, he knew that, but the sort of hack he had just witnessed was from someone on a similar level to him, maybe higher.

He knew it just wasn't Gwen.

When Elliot finally found the source code for the malware, it intrigued him further. Hidden within it was a function that was constantly active. The code within this function ran every time the phone was unlocked and it was smart.

It flashed the location of the phone back to an unknown recipient and it also sent the recipient a log of recent calls and messages.

Someone was watching Gwen, and she had no idea. Elliot wondered if he could re-route the information and have it sent to his own PC. But that was dangerous. Re-writing someone else's malware meant that the original person could intercept and walk back through his code to find his IP address. And that would be bad. No, he would just silently observe for now.

The best he could do was wait for Gwen to turn the location on her phone and ping it back to him. He had planted a smaller bug in her GPS system, one that wouldn't easily be detected.

Elliot had no idea why he was so curious as to where she was. It was only last night that he had wished for her to leave. The situation made him uncomfortable beyond belief and there was just no way around it. His life, as hectic as fsociety was making it, was a lot easier to keep track of before Gwen had arrived.

He had enough baggage as it were. The woman just spelled bad news for him.

/ - Chen POV - /

Gwen had left rather abruptly and it gave Chen room to investigate without hiding his agenda. His contact hadn't sent him anything since the last meeting, but he knew they would reveal Colby's involvement with the hack in a couple days. That was supposed to be when he had to act, but he wanted to get things done before then.

He was never a person who acted on impulse. He preferred to have every move methodically planned out. It had taken him a whole year to lay the foundations of his main operation. Everything in this house, everything that was connected to her had its own purpose. The little system he had installed on her phone in the background was constantly providing him updates about her. Despite her wariness with the internet, she had no qualms about keeping her mobile phone on her at all times.

It was fantastic for him. The device basically did his work for him. Even better, it allowed him to monitor her without being in the near vicinity. Even now, with her being in China, he could watch her every move.

He wanted to tell himself that it was part of his mission, that he was assigned to watch her. But he had grown attached. He loathed to admit it and would carve his own tongue out before he told anyone, but Gwen had grown close to him.

The day they made contact was a vivid memory. The sight of her beaten body on the pavement, a pool of blood around her made him retch every time he recalled it. The leaders hadn't told him to make contact at that point, but seeing her so close to death had him reeling and his legs moved before he could change his mind.

It worked out in the end. She was so naïve and gullible, believing that he offered his home to her because he was lonely. His house was set out perfectly for that day though, enough room for the both of them and security and audio recording systems littered everywhere.

A jail cell was what his contact had likened it to. How crude. He preferred to think of it as a safety net. This way, if she were home without him, he could make sure she was safe.

Yes, he was doing this to keep her safe.

 **End Chapter 6.**


	8. Chapter 7: Guidance

**Author note:**

Keeping this short so we can dive riiiiight on in, thank you to whoever is still reading this. I'm beyond grateful as you're following me whilst I place my thoughts onto paper (screen?).

Things are going to get real interesting soon. I know I say that EVERY chapter but oh my god. If only you knew how excited I am about this. My plot babies are developing!

Too far? Haha, sorry.

Also, thank you for the kind reviews. I'm so humbled and honestly shocked. I hope I won't disappoint with this story.

Enjoy this ^-^

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

 **Guidance.**

/ - Elliot POV - /

Even being at work didn't help take his mind off her. At his most recent session with Krista, the therapist had deemed it to be an obsession. She spoke with him and attempted to walk him through it as though he were unfamiliar with the concept.

But that was the thing. Elliot knew. He knew all along that his tendency to hack others was an obsession. Sure, it was him trying to get to know people better. That was what it had been initially, just an innocent attempt to make up for his lack of social skills. But now it had become an obsession. He _had_ to know everything about every new person who rocked up in his life.

It almost felt unsafe not to know.

And that was what Gwen made him feel. Unsafe. And unsure. Elliot had never been sure about a lot of things in his life. He would be the first to admit how lost he was when it came to most aspects in life. But he knew he was sure about his hacking. He was confident in the information he had.

And yet, when it came to Gwen, he found himself second-guessing everything he knew about her. He didn't trust anything she told him, and now he didn't trust anything the internet told him either. The image of her, which was so clear to him, had become muddled with a web of deceit and lies.

How would he figure out the truth? It was evident from their last interaction that she was explosive, that _they_ were explosive. Come to think of it, they'd never had an exchange that ended normally. Either one of them would get up and leave or they would fall into fits of rage and despair.

Is this how normal people reacted when they were faced with something that confused them?

Elliot knew that she was confused. She had reigned herself in with promises and truths that she could not reveal to him. And that had chained her down and now she was fighting those bounds. He just didn't react well and instead of being understanding and sympathetic, he had thrown it all back at her.

He had blamed her.

 _You still blame her._

How would he overcome this? There was no progress to be made if thoughts of her stuck. It was fast becoming a plug on his productivity. He found that even at times like this, at work, he would zone off and think about her.

Gideon and Angela had commented on his spacey-ness but he couldn't give them an explanation. After all, he himself didn't know the answer.

By the end of the day, packing up his things and shrugging his hoodie on, Elliot marched home with a newfound determination. It was rare for him to be motivated by goals not relating to taking down the powerheads of the financial world. But this woman had his mind in knots and he had to fight back.

Upon reaching home, he flipped open his mobile and slipped a new sim in. It took him a matter of minutes before he had re-configured the system. His number would be untraceable, having looped it through many different addresses and proxies.

Breathing out and feeling the first sense of calmness washing over him in days, Elliot started to type a message.

 _This is it. This is how I'm going to do this._

/ - Gwen POV - /

The weather was blistering hot and Gwen could feel her shades slipping off the bridge of her nose. She could just picture the sweat beads on her forehead right now, reflecting the sun's harsh rays.

The first two locations had been a miss. The places had been cleared out and if the guy she was looking for had been there, he had left no evidence behind. The man was good, she had to give him that. It felt almost as if he knew he would be chased.

The third place, where she was headed to now, was a noodle bar in the heart of the city centre. Shanghai was horrid with its hot weather, but at night the city life thrived. If Gwen had been anyone else, she would have loved to waste her life away in the bars and casinos there. But alas, her mission was important and she had to keep a level head.

Popping into a convenience store to grab yet another bottle of water, Gwen noticed a couple men across the street. They were dressed casually enough, smoking and laughing to each other. But their glances in her direction weren't lost on her. She knew she was being watched and had to figure a way out of it.

Her phone buzzed softly in her pocket and she glanced down at it.

 _Did I imagine that?_

Tyrell knew better than to contact her. They had agreed that she would be the one to contact him, to avoid his number being traced. No one else know of the number on her phone at that time. She had taken care to buy an ordinary sim from a local dealer near her hotel.

She moved further to the back of the store, pretending to mull over the selection of alcoholic beverages on display. Smoothly slipping her phone from her pocket, Gwen glanced quickly down at her phone.

 _A media file?_

Who would send her a media file?

Careful not to drop her pretence, she lifted the phone slightly higher and unlocked it. Upon opening the message, she realised it contained three images and a few lines of text. The images were headshots of men and their occupations. All of them she recognised as wanted internationally for human trafficking.

Who had sent her this? What was the point?

Gwen closed the message and slipped her phone back in her pocket. She grabbed a bottle of apple juice from the fridge and headed to the counter. One of the men from across the road had approached the store and was entering. Gwen tried to keep her cool, thanking the shop-keeper in broken Mandarin after paying for the drink. She walked toward the door but was blocked by the man. The two of them did the side to side dance that two people do when they wanted to walk past each other in a narrow space. Finally, he moved to the side to let her through.

As she glided past him, their eyes met and she struggled to keep a straight face.

Her feet took her as far away, as quickly as possible. When she felt she had put enough distance between herself and the men, she stopped to breathe. Her heart raced as she slipped the phone out of her pocket once more and opened the message again. The man who had blocked her exit… His face was there, on her phone screen. José Lu.

Her phone buzzed again.

' _Did you get out?'_

Fingers shaking and heart racing faster than a horse on steroids, she typed a reply. ' _Who are you?'_

There was no response and she huffed impatiently. She didn't have the time to be playing mind games. Gwen was so sure she had left those behind in the States. She'd never been to China before. No one should have known her number.

And besides, the number which the messages had been sent from had the same area code as the ones in China. She reckoned it was safe to assume the person texting her was just messing around. They were probably a local, protecting their territory from invaders like her.

After allowing herself a couple more minutes to collect her thoughts, Gwen redirected herself, once again heading to the noodle shop. From the looks of the place, she had to dress in an edgy fashion to not draw attention to herself. Everything about the venue screamed secret drug cartel. It wasn't a new experience, that was certain, but even she had her limits with pushing luck. Walking into a den of wolves was certainly something she didn't like doing.

Now that she had to do it, it made her feel a little safer knowing that this little lamb was at least dressed like a wolf.

As she neared the shop, Gwen made a quick detour, scouring the nearby stores. She wanted to know what her escape routes were if things got bad. The previous two locations had been mellow and somewhat safer to navigate. This place was active and being trapped inside would be a deathly mistake.

On her second round, Gwen felt her phone buzz again. She didn't want to look at it. She just knew it was that stranger again. Were they trying to play God?

Against her better judgement, she paused to check the message. As expected, it pissed her off.

' _If you keep walking around in circles at their front door, the predator is going to come out and ambush you._ '

Annoyed, she just stared at the message as if willing it to disappear. This person was watching her. They probably had access to the public cameras and security systems. Nowhere on the streets was safe from this person's eyes.

' _Two blocks down from the noodle store, to the left, there's a hangar for cars. No one parks there normally, but a marketing company uses it to store its company cars.'_

Fuck this person was good. They knew exactly what she needed.

Not risking herself by texting them back, Gwen shoved the phone deep into her pocket and walked into the noodle store. Any longer spent outside and the text messages would unnerve her. It was better to take a look at the place while her mind was still stable and in control.

The front area of the store looked inauspicious enough. There were a couple merchants seated here and there, eating their lunch during break time. Gwen sat down at a table towards the back that had the perfect view into the kitchen area. Every time a server appeared through those doors, the curtains opened enough for her to see directly to the back. There was a door at the back of the kitchen.

Gwen caught a glimpse of a muscle man standing just outside it.

 _Too obvious_.

It was as if they weren't even trying to hide it. She would have her lunch here and observe if anyone came in and out. If by the time her meal was finished, no one appeared, she would take a turn round the back and find another way in. She knew there was no way she was getting past that man with a kitchen full of knives standing between her and that door.

/ - Elliot POV - /

Some small part of him wanted Gwen to walk into that kitchen without guidance. He knew she was dangerous and he wanted to see what she was capable of. That same part of him, deep down and somewhat buried, also wanted to see her get what it thought she deserved. Elliot didn't like to acknowledge his weaknesses. And he knew, had been told several times, that his anger issues were getting hard to handle.

But he couldn't help it, when someone as hard to deal with as Gwen popped into his life. For heaven's sake, he didn't even know whether to call her by Gwen or by Lana. The woman he saw now was definitely a Gwen. From what his memories told him, Lana was a lot more fragile and easier to care for. Somewhat of a damsel in distress. Perhaps that was why they had been friends in the past.

 _Friends?_

Elliot knew that he had a complex. The vigilante part of him wanted to do big things. He wanted to convince himself that he was doing the world a good thing through his actions. Of course, this desire would reflect itself in wanting to prove useful to Lana. From what Gwen had told him, he had appeared to her almost as a godsend. No wonder she was so attached to him.

 _Did you abuse that admiration and trust?_

It frustrated him to no end to remember nothing else of her other than that horrifying scene in his bathroom. Even walking in there to take a shower sent him bad vibes. He never wanted to see that bath tub full ever again, water or not.

Maybe the conflicted emotions were why he was so determined to do what he was doing. He didn't really need to help her. Something told Elliot that Gwen was more than capable of looking after herself. Maybe he just wanted to get to know her. They'd tried that somewhat openly and had only butted heads. Although, Elliot would reluctantly admit, it had been partially his fault for being so unco-operative. But Gwen had kept secrets from him from the start.

If she really knew him like she implied she had, then she would've told him. Elliot hated not knowing things.

It felt good to be the one in control again. Watching Gwen look around in suspicion and confusion sent a thrill through him. It felt good to see her the one unsure for once.

He wasn't evil, he wasn't doing this to spite her. It was just the only way to get to know her again, to gain her trust. She wouldn't talk to him face-to-face ever again otherwise. He knew that.

 _You're so fucking sick in the head._

 _Shut up. I don't know what else to do._

 _Why are you so desperate to be on good terms with her? It's obvious she wants nothing to do with you anymore._

 _I just… I don't want to be left in the dark anymore. Everyone seems to know everything that I don't._

 _Isn't it your fault that that's the case?_

 **End Chapter 7.**


	9. Chapter 8: Baby Steps

**Author note:**

Thank you for the reviews! I am sO hyped for this arc to be over. I had a little mind-block, unsure how to write one of the later chapters. But trust me, it really did come to me in a dream. We got over that hurdle so I am pumping through the start of the next little arc and you guys had better be ready for it.

Anyway, moving on! Enjoy the chapter. It's a little uneventful (lol) but I promise things will start kicking up again. Elliot just needs to figure some shit out and Gwen needs to be a strong independent woman for a little while longer.

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

 **Baby Steps.**

/ - Gwen POV - /

The latest text from her anonymous comrade warned her about entering the room behind the kitchen. So here she was, trusting a stranger who had obtained her number through unknown means. Perched on a tree across the road from the back door to the noodle shop, she had the perfect view of people who entered and exited the room.

Tapping into the noodle store's camera feeds had earned her a nice surveillance for the door that led to the kitchen. All she had to do was wait. She knew that if this turned out to be a miss, she would have wasted a whole day scouting out the place. But something deep down told her she was in the right place.

Her phone vibrated and Gwen sighed. Another text.

However, instead of stopping after a couple vibrations, it continued to ring. Gwen hastily removed it from her pocket and stared at the screen in bewilderment. The person was calling her.

She picked up but didn't say anything, waiting to hear the voice.

"Watch carefully."

The voice was a robotic imitation of a human voice. Someone had a voice-altering machine at their disposal, she mused drily. They always seemed cliché to her, but it definitely did the trick. She could barely distinguish it as a male voice.

Despite her hesitance, she obeyed and turned to look at the building she had been watching. Sure enough, the door slipped open and a man in a suit walked out. He had a cigarette in his hand and was texting someone something. Gwen moved her binoculars to her eyes and had to suppress a gasp. It was the same man whose image was in her brown folder, back at the hotel room.

She couldn't lip read, a lack that she was a little sore about at that moment. But she knew he was talking to someone who was still inside the building. Waiting rewarded her, and another figure stepped out to join the first man.

Another suppressed gasp.

That fucking guy who had blocked her from the convenience store. He _had_ been following her.

A buzzing from her phone reminded Gwen that she was still on the phone with the stranger.

"They know you're following them. They also know where your hotel is. You have about two hours to get your shit and get out of there. Unless you plan on taking on six fully trained and armed men, I'd suggest you pack quickly."

There was a click as the hanger hung up, leaving Gwen to mull over her choices. She couldn't move now, they would see her.

 _That asshole. He knew they knew before he called me and yet he waited until I could see them before he told me what they knew. Why?_

"Because he wanted me to believe that he knew what he was doing." She muttered to herself. The person was smart, she had to admit that. They seemed to be a couple steps in front of her.

Gwen snapped a photo of the men and sent them to Tyrell. She had to keep up the pretence that she was doing her work, after all.

When the two men finally headed back inside, Gwen waited another ten minutes before slipping off the branch and hurrying back to her hotel. She wouldn't take everything, only the stuff that would lead them back to her. She had to make it seem as if she hadn't seen them coming. Packing only a small bag with her personal belongings and the folder, Gwen left the room. She kept her unused toothbrushes in the room and messed around with the sheets so that they would think she had just left for an errand.

Perhaps she would check back another day to see what they had gone through. If there was a method to their actions, Gwen would be able to figure out what they were after, and what they thought _she_ was after.

A buzz to her phone let her know that the stranger had sent her another message. It was getting a little comforting, Gwen thought. This country was foreign to her, and the people and streets were strange and new. Having someone guide her was soothing her fears a little. But a larger part of her was getting frustrated with how little she knew of what was going on. Having this stranger feed her information was like being spoon-fed her mission.

The message was an address this time. An AirBnB not too far from here. The person let her know that they had booked it for her already.

 _Fucking spoon feeding me_.

Sighing, she headed toward the location. She had to find a way to figure out who the person was.

/ - Elliot POV - /

He stared at the message on his phone screen. How had she rewired her phone so that she was able to send him messages? He had specifically made it so that she would only be able to _receive_ his calls and texts.

 _This girl._

' _Why don't you tell me about yourself?'_

Was it a trick question? Why would she ask this to someone who didn't know her? There she went again, surprising him. Elliot was starting to find it hard to breathe. He fumbled for his fix.

After Gwen had hid it a number of days ago, it took him several panic attacks and turning his apartment upside down before he found it. She had hidden it in one of the socks in his sock drawer, the clever girl.

As soon as the high hit him, Elliot felt a calm wash over him. If she wanted to play this way, he would entertain her. Besides, no matter how this went, he was still the one in control. He knew who she was and she had no idea who he was. He could portray whatever person he wanted to her and she wouldn't know any better.

' _What would you like to know?'_

Yes. A line he had rehearsed often but never got the chance to execute. It was the perfect rebuttal to being asked to reveal information about oneself. You just had to reflect it back on the asker.

' _Are you enjoying making me feel helpless?'_

That had him momentarily speechless. She had picked up on one of his agendas almost immediately. It was as if this girl's initial opinion of every person was that they would use her and then kick her to the curb when they were done.

He actually had no idea how to reply to her query. A part of him wanted to tell her the truth, to say yes, yes he loved every moment of being in control. But no, that would just take them to the same place they were at in real life. Elliot had to play it safe.

His fingers shook.

 _Oh, but you just can't lie to her, can you? Even after how much she's lied to you._

' _No. I just want to help.'_

Her reply was instantaneous. ' _Why don't you meet me in person then?'_

She was _brave_. Her brashness sent a thrill down his spine as he savoured an action he himself would never be able to do. This girl… She was almost his opposite in every way, and yet he felt as if he understood her, had understood her for a long time.

' _What's the fun in that?'_ His heart was racing and he couldn't tell if his head was spinning because of the morphine or because he had sent such a flirtatious text. He couldn't remember the last time it had felt this exhilarating to talk to someone. She was putting him on an even bigger high.

He tried to convince himself that he was only pretending to be like this to get her to trust him. He was doing this so he could break her to pieces and find out what she was keeping from him.

Gwen didn't reply for a while and Elliot could feel his panic start to set in. Had he gone too far?

"Oh no… no, no, no." He kept whining to himself. Elliot was now curled up in a ball on his bed, staring at the phone screen that lay next to him.

 _Why isn't she replying?_

A buzz shocked him into sitting up and he picked up the phone with shaking hands.

' _That's fucked. You're having fun while keeping me in the dark.'_

Her words had him hesitating. Had he chosen the wrong approach. She probably thought he was psychotic now. Well… was he?

' _I guess we all have our pastimes. What do you even do for a living anyway? Stalk girls and make them feel uncomfortable?'_

Elliot breathed out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding in. She was dangling him over a cliff even despite him being the one in the know. What a dangerous woman.

' _No, it's just you.'_ He knew this would make her antsy. It was singling her out. Was she as messed up as he was? Would she feel special upon receiving that message? Even in a fucked-up way, she might feel adored to know he was only watching her.

 _Holy. You're a fucking psycho and a creep. Way to go._

' _Just me huh? How cute. Are you going to ask me out on a date next?_ '

"Date." Elliot played around with the word, repeating it softly to himself. It danced around in his head, blocking his rational thoughts. If there were any to start with. The morphine was definitely what was making him so focused on something so trivial, he decided. Definitely the morphine.

He picked up his phone to type his reply.

/ - Gwen POV - /

The bath was warm, but not too hot. Just the way she liked it. She'd never been a fan of over-humid atmospheres.

As she sunk into the water, she sighed deeply. What a rollercoaster this trip was turning into. She'd been here for a full two days already and she had only just begun to get a lead into the man. In fact, she blushed as she thought, she was making more progress with the stranger through the phone than she was with her mission.

Their back and forth had led to some flirtatious comments, and she found herself not holding back. Perhaps the fact that she didn't know this person meant she had no fear in expressing herself. There was a tiny notion of excitement relating to the anonymity.

She'd always been into thrilling events, and a secret romance with a stranger in China didn't seem too bad to her. She could always just leave it all behind when she went back to the U.S.

 _Just like you left everything behind there when you came here._

Gwen had always been a runner. At any sight of discomfort that couldn't be solved easily, she was gone quicker than anybody else. It was a large factor to her relationship, or lack thereof, with Elliot. If she'd kept in touch when she went to live with her dad, and then later during the time she had moved back, perhaps they wouldn't be on such rocky terms.

Elliot was definitely awkward. He never knew how to start a conversation with her, and was more comfortable sharing her presence in silence. She had come to terms with the fact that they'd just be friends a long time ago. There was no way there was anything romantic there. Even if she had feelings for him, which she wasn't going to admit any time soon, she knew that he was not a suitable partner.

Gwen was already irrational as it were. With someone as erratic and messed up as Elliot, she knew the years left on her life wouldn't amount to much. She'd either die saving him from himself or through stress alone.

Yes, just friends was definitely better.

"But… You're not even friends right now. You don't know him anymore." She voiced her thoughts out loud as if saying them would re-affirm it. She knew a small part of her wasn't convinced. This aggressive, distraught Elliot wasn't the Elliot she knew. He had to still be that awkward, broken guy she'd met so long ago. Somewhere, there was the Elliot she had grown fond of.

Maybe she brought out the worst in him. After all, the way she'd treated him on their recent encounters hadn't been forgiving in the slightest. She'd known, been told that he'd lost his memories. And yet it was as if she had held that against him.

At the graveyard, she'd been angry. Furious even. It was heartbreaking for her to realise that those precious memories, those days where he'd help her mend her broken soul, they'd been extinguished from him.

Was she the only one to hold onto what they'd shared?

Gwen didn't have time for this. God, even halfway across the planet the guy tormented her. She'd deal with that when she got back to the States. For now, a mysterious stranger and a shitty mission were what had to captivate her full attention.

Yeah, she'd focus from now on.

 **End Chapter 8.**


	10. Chapter 9: A Little Longer in Dreamland

**Author note:**

ALRIGHT so we have officially moved out from the canon time-line (for now, don't worry we will be back on track soon) but this is necessary I swear!

Just bear with me, I know the genre has shifted quite drastically in the past few chapters but we NEED it for the development. This is going to be epic, trust me. But we gotta walk this through one step at a time.

Thank you to the persistent readers. (anonymouscsifan and LittleBlueRobyn, I'm looking at you)

Also, I can't spoil anything but I just need to let _someone_ know. I've finished Ch 11 and OH YM GOD you guys had better prepare yourself. I am sooo excited. So. Excited.

On another note, it is now exam season and i will probably be slowing down the updates for the next two weeks. Gotta aim for that H1, ya feel?

I doubt I'll be able to stay away long though, I love this fic too much.

But anyway... Enjoy now!

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

 **A Little Longer in Dreamland.**

/ - Chen POV - /

Today was the day. The media had been tipped with Colby's involvement in the hack and E-corp would be forced to publicly announce his treachery. Chen couldn't wait to get started on his newest assignment. He'd been observing Elliot since Gwen left for China, but the weirdo hadn't changed his routine at all. If anything, he seemed to dive deeper back into his old habits.

Maybe Chen's suspicions were just that, suspicions. It really seemed as if Elliot was unfazed by Gwen's absence. He went to work, as usual. Went straight home, as usual. Spoke to his dealer, as usual.

In fact, Elliot didn't seem to be doing much different from his usual routine. He made no contact with fsociety and spent the majority of his time getting high and laughing at his phone. Like a lunatic, really, Chen mused.

He would never understand how someone could be as messed up as Elliot. The poor guy was broken from his past and yet made no sincere effort to change his future. Would he accept that he would cry over his loneliness forever? It was pathetic.

Chen halted his thoughts as he watched an unfamiliar girl walk up the steps to Elliot's apartment. He had seen her around the area a number of times, but she'd never entered the building before. To his shock, she reappeared a few moments later, Elliot in tow.

"This is too easy." Chen muttered to himself as he waited for them to move further before following them. The two were oblivious.

They stopped to grab frozen yoghurt and Chen wanted to rip his ears out, listening to the girl talk on and on about stupid nonsense. Was this person really a member of fsociety? Really?

At the subway, Chen nearly lost them. The girl pulled Elliot onto the train carriage as the doors were closing, and Chen himself had to shove someone out of the way to squeeze on, a carriage down from them. As the train moved, Chen caught sight of two other men.

 _Amateurs. Really? They didn't trust me enough that they sent two others?_

The rest of the train ride was uneventful. Elliot remained still as the girl babbled on throughout the trip. Chen was grateful he was at least in another carriage. If he had to listen to her whinging any longer, he was sure her tongue would be carved out and thrown away by now.

He was so glad that Gwen wasn't like that. She hardly ever complained. Although she did voice her opinions when it made her upset, she was never the one to uselessly whinge the way this girl was doing. It was why she was so precious to Chen.

The thought of Gwen made him a little sad. She was still in China, making progress from what he saw through her phone. There had been a number of outbound messages to an unknown number, but those messages were encrypted and he hadn't been able to decipher them. He assumed they were for Tyrell. Only someone like that maniac would go to that much effort.

When Elliot and the girl disembarked the train, Chen waited until the doors were just about to close before he exited. He followed them from a while away and observed as they entered a building with a large amount of graffiti on its walls. Funsociety? As in fsociety? Wow, these hackers really had no sense of humour, he thought.

Rustling through his bag, he brought out pea-sized cameras and audio recording software. It would take a while, but he had to set these up at the entrances and windows to the place. He wouldn't be able to enter until after all the people had left, but there was still work he could do while the little hacker gang had their gathering.

/ - Gwen POV - /

How had she gotten in this predicament again? Oh, that's right. She'd been reckless and they'd caught up to her. So stupid.

Thinking that she'd make a meal for herself on her third night in China rather than eat out, Gwen had ventured out from her AirBnB to find a grocery store. She'd walked mindlessly around looking for a sign that was recognisable as a grocer. Everything was in Chinese and she'd been silly and not taken that language in high school.

Would have been helpful right about now.

Oh yes, and as soon as she stepped into the first grocer she found, she'd been knocked down and pinned on the floor. Her arms were tightly locked behind her and she didn't even try to resist. It was futile.

So here she was, tied to a chair in a dark room that stank of piss and faeces. These guys really had no creativity.

"Did you really have to copy all the damn spy movies out there? Like geez." She called out into the empty room. As far as she knew, she'd been here for a couple hours, alone. But they were watching her, it was clear. Why wouldn't they?

Were they waiting for her to unravel? To go insane?

 _Tough luck boys_ , _I'm already as crazy as you can get._

A screeching caught her attention and her eyes tuned in on a movement on the far wall of the room. A door?

A man stepped into her view, his face hidden behind a black mask. In fact, not a single part of his skin was showing. He was, in all senses of the word, wrapped in black clothing from head to toe.

"Why do you follow us?"

Odd, Gwen noted. The accent was definitely not similar to the other Chinese accents of the area that she had grown used to on her few days here. Perhaps a rural region then?

Or perhaps not Chinese.

"Um, because I felt like it?" She knew being snarky wouldn't reward her, but she was at her wit's end. In the three days she'd been here, all she'd gotten was that photo of the man and his associate the other day, as well as an emptied bullet she'd pried off the wall at the fourth location. These guys were dangerous and she couldn't think of why Tyrell was interested in them.

He was an executive, for heaven's sake. It wasn't as if he was an overlord who needed people to be killed off. The man was a fucking suit, not a badass.

Regardless of her frustration, Gwen had checked up on the make of the design of the bullet and found that it was fired from a custom-made hand gun that originated in Japan a couple decades ago. Really? Was she that surprised? A lot of custom hand guns came from Japan. It really hadn't narrowed her search down any.

And to top it all off, the stranger had stopped messaging her. What was the guy up to?

"Do not be insolent."

Smack.

Gwen's head flew sideways and splitting pain wracked her cheek. The guy packed a punch despite his small frame. His hands felt a lot tougher than regular hands. Knuckle-busters, maybe?

"Sorry, I forget my manners when _I'm tied to a fucking chair_."

Another smack. "What have you found out?"

"Uh… That you're a bunch of kids who like to smoke together and go into not-at-all suspicious dark rooms." _God, what she'd do to be back in Elliot's room and arguing with him right now. Even that kind of frustration and pain was better than this. This beating just reminded her of bad, horrid memories._

There was a crackle and then the man whispered something incomprehensible into his… mouthpiece? Gwen couldn't tell from where she sat. In fact, running the sounds back over in her head, she wasn't entirely sure he had spoken English.

The man didn't spare her another glance as he left the room. Gwen breathed out a sigh of relief. Had they really given up that easily?

/ - Elliot POV - /

They wanted to blow up Steel Mountain. _Blow up Steel Fucking Mountain._ And Mr Robot didn't give two shits about whether or not people died. These were not the people Elliot wanted to surround himself with. He wanted to save the world, not kill it.

These people were insane.

By the time he arrived home, he was almost hysterical. The thought of someone dying made him sick. These people, they weren't hacking the conglomerates for the greater good. They were doing it because they could, because it made them feel good about themselves.

Once again, he was alone. No one thought like him and so no one understood him. Elliot rushed into his apartment, ignoring Shayla who had peeked her head out to watch him hurry past.

He was alone. Alone, alone, alone.

The tears came before he could stop them and in his corner, rocking himself and sobbing hysterically, Elliot felt smaller than ever.

Why did he even think that he could fit in at fsociety? Why had he even tried. They'd just let him down, like everyone else did. He was alone and he had to stay that way. It was horrible and made him go insane, but it was safer.

 _Alone, alone, alone._

He didn't know how long his panic attack lasted for, but the weariness in his limbs told him it had been a while. Break-downs were never easy and it was worst for him because he didn't want to accept it. He fought it and it consumed him ever the more.

No one in this world was as alone as him. He would be this way forever, always looking into other people's happy lives through a glass wall. It was a happiness that he would never be able to achieve. When would he learn that? He was alone, and even in his loneliness he was alone.

No one else was alone like he was.

No one.

Elliot ignored the first buzz from his phone. He just wanted to be alone, whoever it was could wait. Nothing was important anymore.

 _Go the fuck away_.

The last part of that though elicited a scream out loud. He clutched his head as the buzzing continued. Kept clutching his head and wailing until it stopped.

He waited a few moments before picking it up, tears blurring his vision. It was a missed call. From who?

It took him a couple blinks to get the tears out of his eyes, and when he focused and looked at the number, his eyes widened.

"Gwen."

That's right. There was one person in the world as lonely and broken as him. And he had pushed her away. Really, he was the worst. He had blamed her for making him feel worse, had blamed her for remembering the things he couldn't. He had even taken joy in making her feel lost, helpless and alone.

That's the monster he was.

As Elliot continued to stare at the missed call message, another message popped up in the notifications. A media file, sent from Gwen.

He opened it.

And then everything was on fire.

She looked worse for wear, her hair matted down and her head drooped in front of her. The photo was dark but Elliot could see the bruises formed on her arm. God, he wanted to murder something, anything. She was just as alone as he was, even more so. And he had left her to fend for herself and she had been captured.

While he was what? Prancing around with a bunch of wannabe heroes? How was he going to save the world if he couldn't even save Gwen?

"What do I do? What do I do?" Elliot forced the tears back, he had to think clearly. The person holding Gwen evidently knew about him and knew that they had a connection. Why had they sent that image? Had they read over the messages? But those messages between Gwen and himself self-destructed upon read. So how did they know?

Elliot paused, realising.

They had a man on this side too. Someone had been watching him this whole time. Someone knew he was getting close to Gwen. Someone knew what he was capable of. That was why they had sent that image.

Fuelled with new determination and anger, Elliot wiped his eyes with his sleeves. He was going to save Gwen and when she was back and safe he was going to apologise. It didn't matter that he couldn't remember her now. He knew her, his mind knew her even if he couldn't remember.

Elliot was sick of being alone.

He didn't want to be alone anymore.

 **End Chapter 9.**


	11. Chapter 10a: Tight

**Author note:**

All right I'll let you all in on a little secret.

I messed up.

The chapter that's supposed to be chapter 11 actually skips a whole load of timeline and there's plot I want to put in there sooooooooo

There's gonna have to be a wait on that one. The unfortunate thing is I won't be able to sit down and write properly until two weeks after today because ya girl's got her exams on. So while these papers have me wallowing in depresso expresso, please make do with this one. I promise I'll be back soon.

Ugh, and I was so excited about dropping chapter 11 too. It was gonna be so RAD. Oh well, guess you'll all have to wait in suspense (teehee)

Also, anonymouscsifan, you are my fave and thank you so much for being so dedicated.

ALSO ALSO we've finally hit more than 20k words I am so proud. Getting teary-eyed over my fanfic baby. Y'all don't know how damn happy this little fic makes me.

Enjoy now!

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

 **Tight.**

/ - Elliot POV - /

It seemed like such a straightforward thing to do when he had been numb and desperate. In reality, saving Gwen required a lot more than despair and good-will. He had to plan out his actions.

Elliot wasn't physically present to rescue her from her position, and if he had been what could he have done anyway? No, he was more helpful to her behind his PC. He was not made for the missions Gwen took on.

First, he would deactivate the security cameras in her holding room, as well as the ones in the corridor. He had to time it right, so that the lights dimmed just as the cameras were coming back on. The combination of these factors should buy her enough time to escape. The only problem was, Gwen was tied to the chair. Even if he presented her with the optimal conditions for escape, she had to be physically able to move first.

How could he let her know? The place's security systems were almost impenetrable. They had layer upon layers of firewalls and AI defence codes that sent Elliot back to the beginning every time he bumped into them. It was almost as if they had a dedicated team working to keep him out.

There was only one thing he could think of, and part of that plan still relied heavily on Gwen's capabilities.

Elliot waited until the men making their rounds passed her room and moved further down the corridor. Then, he moved the camera through which he was watching Gwen. It had taken him almost an hour to take over control of the main camera system. But he hadn't acting, waiting for the guard to leave. For a place which seemed to be heavily guarded, the guards themselves were quite reckless.

Leaving the surveillance room unguarded? They must have had a large trust in their door-man to keep any invaders out. Too bad he wasn't a physical invader, Elliot mused.

As expected, the abrupt movement of the camera side to side created a whirring sound. Gwen looked up, letting him know she was alive. The lifelessness in her eyes hurt Elliot far more deeply than he had anticipated, but he used it to further drive his determination.

 _I have to save her._

He had to time this correctly. The doors first, then the cameras and later the lights. But all of this relied on Gwen knowing what to do. He only prayed that she did, because if they messed this up he didn't know if he could save her a second time.

A large part of him didn't want to think about it, but it was slowly dawning on him how serious the situation was. Their back and forth messaging the previous days had lured him into a false sense of security, but the truth was Gwen could die. She wasn't in there, playing a game of cat and mouse. It was either she caught them first or they killed her.

Elliot didn't want to think about it.

The guards were far enough away that he could unlock the doors without them hearing it. Not letting himself over think his actions any longer, he deactivated the locks on Gwen's door.

The sound caused Gwen to lift her head up, looking at the camera in suspicion. He knew she only knew him as a stranger, but her piercing gave shook him nonetheless. There was desperation in her eyes. Elliot watched to see what she would do next.

Her body slowly started wriggling rhythmically, in a motion that was almost mesmerising to him. He could never do that with his body, he thought fleetingly.

As Gwen's shoulders slid down to the top of her bindings, Elliot realised he had to deactivate the camera feed. If he could see what Gwen was doing, then if the guards from the surveillance room returned, they would see it too.

But he didn't want to stop watching.

As Gwen's shoulders finally popped free and her head slipped from the bounds, Elliot cut the cameras in the building. This wouldn't alert the mainframe for at least 3 minutes, so Gwen had that long until she was out of her chair and in the corridor. Then he could deactivate the lighting system as the cameras came back online.

Gwen would have to find her own way out, in the darkness.

Elliot counted down the seconds in his head, sweat dripping down the side of his face as his heart started to beat faster. He fought the bile that was threatening to rise in his throat. This type of vigilante act was not for him. It was a lot safer when all the variables were accounted for. Right now, Gwen was not.

As the last few seconds ticked down, Elliot's fingers shook. Raising them to the keyboard, he deactivated the lights and stared at the feed of the cameras. With the main lighting system off, it was almost impossible to make out anything on the screens. However, the off-system lighting provided enough that he could see movement.

There was a figure on the top left screen, darting down the hallway. Elliot felt a huge lump of stress leave his system as he realised it was Gwen. She had made it out of the room and was running for her life.

 _But wait._

"No. What the fuck." He slammed his fists onto his PC screen, as if violence would get through to Gwen on the other side. Where was she going? Why was she going the opposite way to the exit? It was as if she knew exactly where she was headed.

Elliot followed her figure from camera feed to camera feed as the realisation slowly hit him. She was going straight for the wolf's den.

"Fuck."

She was going to get herself killed. He'd just given her a chance to escape and yet she was looking for David? There wasn't even a guarantee that he was in this building. All she was doing was putting herself into more danger.

 _No. I have to stop her._

Elliot tried to lock the doors blocking her path, but she always slipped through them just in time. It was as if she knew, and her knowledge drove her to run faster. She knew he was trying to stop her, the smart devil.

Gwen stopped outside a door to the main room, and Elliot sank back in his chair. There was no camera feed in that room. As soon as she stepped through that door, she would be by herself. He'd be blind, unable to assist in any way.

It felt like an eternity. Elliot was sure he had lost ten years of his life just staring through the camera feed, willing Gwen to reappear from the doorway.

It was ten minutes into this nothingness that Elliot had his first break down. It started off as a quiet, repetitive 'no' which he continued until it got louder and suddenly he was freaking out. Hands gripped the sides of his hair and tugged up roughly as he scrunched his eyes closed.

Then came the heavy breathing and the start of hyperventilating. Elliot's mind was in pieces as the world spun around him. He was desperately trying to regain control and focus but nothing was calming him down.

 _Shit._

Curling up into a ball on his chair, Elliot rocked back and forth as tears streamed silently down his cheeks. If he opened his mouth, he was scared to hear what sound would come out. Forcing himself to be silent was the only way he could calm down.

A whimper escaped.

 _Fuck I am SO weak._

His frustration bled into his voice as his whimpering grew louder.

This panic lasted for a total of 5 minutes but for Elliot, it felt like hours. When he regained enough control to continue staring at his PC, he couldn't tear his eyes away.

A buzz on his phone alerted him that Angela was looking for him. It was probably about that stupid party that Gideon was holding. When he'd heard about it from the man, Elliot wanted to laugh in his face. Yeah right, as if he would go to something as social as that.

He'd considered asking Shayla to come with him, but that was when he'd received the message from the anonymous person via Gwen's phone. And in an uncharacteristic panic, all thoughts of the party had left Elliot's mind.

That brought him back to the present. Back to the unmoving camera feed and the darkness of the doorway that Gwen had disappeared into.

Elliot's second panic attack after an hour. This one had him pacing around his room, fighting the voices in his head. He didn't recover from this one and soon found himself whimpering on the floor, a hand grabbing the blanket from his bed and the other arm wrapped around his torso.

He passed out in that position, mind and body exhausted.

It was a couple hours later when he jolted awake. The panic he felt at that point was controlled and he robotically moved to his computer. The camera feed was static. Elliot felt bile rise in his throat.

 _I was so fucking weak. Gwen is probably dead because of me._

With shaking fingers, he rewound the feed recording, pausing at the time about thirty minutes after he passed out. A figure limped out of the door of the office. Blood and hair stuck to their face, making it almost unrecognizable to Elliot.

Gwen paused at the door and looked back into the room. She raised her arm and Elliot flinched as she fired her gun at something. She paused again, staring at her gun for a long time. It was almost as if she was in a trance, controlled by some other force.

Elliot watched in fear but he couldn't look away. Gwen took another step further away from the room. As she turned to leave, she stopped and looked at the camera, straight into Elliot's eyes. He nearly fell back in his seat.

With unshaking hands, she raised the gun up and fired. The bullet had Elliot gasping for air and he watched the screen immediately flicker to static.

 _Holy shit._

/ - Gwen POV - /

Gwen thanked her luck when she stumbled back to her lodging. The owner of the AirBnB didn't live close and it was quite secluded. No one caught a glimpse of her as she staggered back, covered in blood and grit.

Her muscles ached and her head was whirling in circles. She kept seeing it, images of blood being splattered and cries for her to stop. But the loudest sound of them all was a sickening laughter, one that had dominated her brain as soon as she had stepped foot in that office.

Even after disposing of the men situated there, she had not found the source of the laughter. When Gwen re-entered the hallway, she was held tightly in the clutches of insanity. Seeing that camera watching her, unmoving, struck a nerve. That filthy stranger had known she was in there. He could have done anything, called the police, gotten help. Instead he had played god, opening doors for her and guiding her as if she needed him.

 _What a joke._

As she dried herself, Gwen took the time to plan out her next few days. She had three days left in China before Tyrell expected her back. The thought of her boss made her laugh darkly. He would not expect the news she was coming home with, the scumbag.

Now that she knew, now that she had a safety net, Gwen would follow no man.

With a small sigh, she rolled up her sleeve and got to cleaning the shower. Remnants of blood had darkened the water around her and Gwen was brought back to a memory she would rather forget.

That memory led to the thought of Elliot, and Gwen found herself promising that she would fix their situation. They had to talk, and Gwen would bite her own tongue out if it meant she could keep calm. No matter what, they had to fix the rift between them, even if it meant severing ties forever.

She wouldn't allow herself to be distracted by thoughts of him anymore. Elliot had obviously changed, had obviously obtained new priorities.

So had she though, and it was time to make that clear. Gwen wasn't some stupid girl pining after Elliot's friendship. She was a strong, independent person and had been on her own for long enough that she could handle it for longer. Elliot was nothing more than a blip in her sensibility, causing storms in her oceans.

But that would change. When she got home, their interaction would make or break them. No more of this grey area bullshit. Either he treated her with respect and wanted her back in his life, or she would accept that he had forgotten her and leave forever.

Time waits for no man. But it had waited for her. Gwen was sure the waiting was over and she didn't want to be caught unaware when life threw her it's next curveball.

She would finish her business in China and head home. She would rest at home, explain to Chen her plans and then she would march on over to Elliot's.

 _Yeah, I'll show him who I really am now. If he thinks I'm weak enough to want to stick around again just so he can emotionally abuse me, he's thinking something wrong._

 **End Chapter 10.**


	12. Chapter 10b: Something Amiss

**Author note:**

Ahahahahahahahahahahaha I am SO SORRY OH MY GOD. So the exams were over and then I had work. And then after work I had to train full time for this martial art that I do. And then after that was over, the results came out and ...

Yeah if you didn't assume, now you know: I was a mess. I thought I'd do waaaaaaaaaay worse than I actually did and I am so relieved that's over.

On the sadder side, uni starts again in two weeks so let's see how much I can chug out before then!

ALSO, I absolutely hate this chapter. I loathed writing it and it was extremely difficult to finish. There were times when I thought, no, I'll just skip it and move forward onto the next chapter. But there's backstory here that I needed to get out and OHMY GOD I am so angry at myself for missing it the first time around. Sorry for the short as chapter but I promise we will get to chapter 11 soon. Think of this as a necessity but not something you have to enjoy. Like really bitter medicine.

Off you go now!

And thank you to my loyal reviewer anonymouscsifan for getting me off my whiny butt and just posting this. Even though I hate it, it has to be done. Sorry in advance!

* * *

 **Chapter 10.2**

 **Something Amiss.**

/ - Elliot POV - /

"Who the fuck are you?"

Fernando Vera's words rang in Elliot's ears as he spun slowly on his computer chair. He needed a way to get rid of the guy without making it too obvious. It'd take someone really stupid to not realise how dangerous Vera was. The people he was involved in, the influence he had… If Elliot wasn't careful, he'd be Vera's next tweet.

But still, he didn't want Shayla to keep being abused. The fact that she was begging him not to turn Vera in meant that she was scared. Elliot worried that her fear would turn into complacency.

That wouldn't be good. Someone who was complacent was often unco-operative. And Elliot would need all the co-operation he could get if it meant putting Vera behind bars without causing harm to the ones he cared about.

Elliot hadn't been craving a morphine hit recently. His mind had been busy as he filled his days with either heading to work, helping Gwen or planning out Vera's imprisonment. If he were anybody else, Elliot would even go as far as to say he was creating a routine, one that he was comfortable with. It meant that there was less time to be alone and more time being productive.

Although, recently, Elliot had felt the opposite of alone. There were always eyes on him, watching him as he went about his business. Frankly, he didn't even feel safe at home.

Someone was watching him, observing his actions, and Elliot was not okay with it one bit. But the bigger issue was Vera. His little stalker would have to wait until after.

The next few days had Elliot sleeping even less than he usually did. The hours flew by in a blur, a blend of sobriety and drunken stupor. He hadn't talked to Shayla for a week and hadn't allowed himself to get an update on Gwen's situation. She was entirely too distracting and it would only lead to him making an error.

He trusted her to look after herself. As long as she wasn't tied up to a chair again, Elliot was confident that she was okay.

Trudging slowly toward his house, Elliot saw Shayla exit the building and made a move to wave at her. His hand fell limply back to his side as his vision followed Shayla's line of sight. Vera was being cuffed and pressed to the side of the police car. A part of him was satisfied to see the criminal in chains, but when Vera turned to him and gave him a deadly look, Elliot wondered if it really was over.

He had anonymously leaked the information relating to Vera's dealings to the police and it hadn't taken them long to respond to the tip.

The look on Shayla's face had Elliot weak at the knees. It was a combination of relief and fear. Those two emotions didn't fit properly on her features and Elliot's nerves jumped even higher.

Had he really done the right thing?

/ - Chen POV - /

Watching the young hacker's expressions as Vera was loaded into the police car and taken away almost made Chen's day. He thoroughly enjoyed the mirage of emotions that flickered across Elliot's face. If it were him in that position, Chen would have stayed far away from Vera and his problems. The ones who crosses the brothers hardly came back in one piece. In fact, many of them wound up dead.

But Chen knew. And he knew that Vera knew. Elliot didn't mind being dead. It would probably be a favour if Vera and his brothers killed him off now. If it were Chen, he would choose to hurt the ones Elliot cared about. Surely something like that would hurt the hacker more than his own death.

Switching his focus to the girl standing beside Elliot, Chen smiled darkly. Elliot had no idea what he had just gotten the two of them into. It would certainly be interesting to watch as the events unfolded.

A way to pass the time until Gwen returned.

She had gone dark post-kidnapping. No social media flickers, no appearances on the streets. She hadn't left her AirBnB, not even to send notice to her boss of her status.

A part of him ached for her, wanting to be with her and chase away all the bad people. But he knew if he set foot in China, his pretence would fall to pieces and Gwen would figure everything out. No, he had to stay silent and ever-watching.

When it came time to act, his superiors would notify him. And, he chuckled ruefully, he would act with no mercy.

There were higher stakes in this game than many of the participants knew. Elliot for one, had no idea just who he was up against. He should've stuck to his own issues instead of getting involved with other people. Chen knew that this Vera incident would not end well and Elliot would not arise from it unscathed.

What worried him was the effect it would have on Gwen when she returned.

Against his better judgement, Chen had allowed her to reignite the friendship between Elliot and herself. But now, after observing the hacker's actions for a while, Chen had come to realise that Elliot was similar to a time-bomb. He was always ticking down to a final explosion and Chen did not want Gwen to get caught up in something like that.

There were bigger plans in store for her and dealing with someone as petty as Elliot would not prove helpful.

When he followed Elliot a few days later, he found himself by the harbor. The hacker was sitting on the railing, hunched over with his hood on.

Chen watched as Elliot teetered back and forth, seemingly arguing with himself. A small voice in the back of his head mused how delightful it would be if the young hacker would simply slip off. It would rid him of one of his problems if Elliot just accidently killed himself. And it would prove to be entertaining to see how fsociety would function without their mastermind. Surely, the group would fall to ruin if Elliot disappeared?

/ - Elliot POV - /

Even as he tried to shout some sense into Mr Robot, he felt a different set of eyes watching him. It was beginning to drive him insane, the knowledge that someone was always there and watching. He wondered if they, too, could see the insanity in Mr Robot's eyes as he questioned Elliot on his past.

When Elliot's father was brought up, it was as if all sanity dissipated from Elliot's mind. The man in front of him knew far too much and it made Elliot even more uneasy. How had he allowed himself to get caught up in a group who knew more about him than he did about them?

There was something not quite right about the relationship and Elliot felt as if a lot of pieces were missing from the puzzle.

"Don't you think," Mr Robot drawled as he turned to face Elliot, "That you betrayed your father's trust when you told everyone about his disease?"

Elliot's mind swam as the words caught up to him. They were like a net from his past, opening up to catch him, finally. Before he could reply, Elliot felt a swift shove on his back and he was falling.

The ground came rushing toward him and he heard a crunch in the distance before he blacked out.

 _Oh._

 _So that's what I've been holding in all this time._

/ - Chen POV - /

The cigarette only made it halfway to his mouth before his entire body froze. Of all the things that could have happened to surprise him, Chen had not been expecting that.

"Oh shit."

He dropped the cigarette, still lit, onto the ground and ran to the railing. He hurled himself over and checked the body for damage. It was crazy, but there was no blood and seemingly no broken bones. At best, if he had to guess, Elliot might have a few cracked ribs and a lot of bruises.

Berating the hacker for being stupid enough to actually fall from the railing, Chen picked Elliot up and climbed up to the harbor decking. He called a taxi and dropped Elliot off at the hospital, telling them to call Shayla before leaving as fast as he could.

He'd never wanted to get that closely involved, but the idiot had gone and tried to off himself. What dumb person would try to die after setting Vera behind bars? That was like screaming 'Here! Take everyone I love and care about and hurt them!'.

A part of him wanted to say that he did it because he wanted to see what would happen after. Another part of him said he did it because his superiors wanted Elliot alive. But Chen knew, deep down, that he had done it for Gwen.

If she had returned and found Elliot dead or worse, she would have reverted to the shell of herself that Chen had found her as so long ago. He couldn't have that.

If he ever saw a pitiful expression on her face, one as saddening as the one all those years ago, his heart would probably split in half. She was his charge but a large part of him had grown to care for her.

It was complicated. He was looking after her and keeping tabs on Elliot because that was his job, but he was making sure they were okay for what reason?

Chen didn't know, couldn't know. It wasn't the way he was wired. He hadn't been taught to care and had grown up in a harsh environment. Even if he loved Gwen, he wouldn't know it.

/ - Elliot POV - /

The recovery took forever. Forever too long. His mind wandered in places he was not used to and even when he was back to normal it still wandered. Some of the thoughts and memories left him dazed and blank, others had him wanting to rip out his hair in frustration.

The most common thought was Gwen and her soft, seemingly searching eyes. The gaze she had given him when she had been in his room. She had been so close and yet so far. In the moment, Elliot had not thought to reach out for her and pull her close. It was only now, when his mind revisited their interactions, that Elliot felt the urge and longing to hold her.

But then the image of her, covered in blood, seeped into his mind and Elliot shut off. It was an automatic thing, as if he didn't want to see her like that and refused to accept it. He knew he had to come to terms with it eventually but Elliot didn't want to believe that they were one in the same. The Gwen he had seen fall apart in front of him, and the killer he had watched on the screen.

A small part of him wondered if they were better off not seeing each other again. Perhaps he hadn't known her as well as he should have.

Perhaps it would be a mistake to let her get any closer to him.

Although his bones ached from his fall, his heart ached even more, for reasons Elliot could not decipher.

 **End Chapter 10.2.**


	13. Chapter 11: How Did We Get Here?

**Author note:**

Finally. We made it to this chapter. Now we can actually GET ON WITH THE PLOT.

That took way more stress than I was anticipating.

Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

 **How Did We Get Here?**

/ - Elliot POV - /

In an attempt to return to a somewhat normal lifestyle, he had decided to attend Gideon's party. Despite asking Shayla to accompany him, he felt more alone in that room than he had in his apartment. He was currently outside, a little shaken from Gideon's intense mind-games. Elliot knew the boss was suspecting him, but he had bigger issues to worry about.

The thought of Gwen had returned once more, and fighting the urge to blanch, Elliot focused on the night sky. It was pointless. Gwen persevered in his head.

The look on her face when she had shot down the camera, every time it surfaced in his mind's eye it caused Elliot's heart to speed up. In fear.

Gwen looked terrifying at that moment. He couldn't see a single resemblance between her and the girl who had wept on his bed, begging him to remember her. The Gwen who had walked out of the office, who had blood on her from head to toe, she was a person Elliot couldn't recognize.

 _She's a monster._

But even knowing this, he found himself still drawn to her. He still held the impatience for her to be back.

Elliot shivered and dug his hands deep into his pocket. He trudged back inside to, reluctantly, talk to other people. Shayla looked up at him from her position on the sofa, and he gave her a nod. She was doing well, for someone as cut out of society as he was.

Angela smiled at him when she noticed him looking her way. He kept her gaze for a couple seconds before turning away.

A sharp voice on the television caught his attention and Elliot shifted to face the screen.

Everything after that happened too quickly for him to absorb.

One moment he was watching the reporter nonchalantly mention how Terry Colby had been involved in the incident that caused his father's death and the next moment his foot was hitting the pavement and he was moving speedily away from Gideon's place. Elliot's mind was a mess.

 _Are you seeing this? Is this happening for you too?_

He didn't know how to feel at that moment. The reporter wasn't confirming what he had always believed. Rather, she was reminding him of something that he had been struggling to forget.

He walked even faster.

The cold air was wrapping its embrace around him and even his fast-paced walking couldn't keep him warm. As his feet hit the grass, Elliot felt his knees give out and he tumbled over, kneeling to look at the tombstones just ahead of him. The moon reflected off the concrete softly and Elliot couldn't take his eyes off his father's grave.

 _Oh god._

He didn't know how long he'd sat there, in that position. He was cold, alone and in complete shock. He'd never felt smaller in his whole life. Who did he have? People usually went to the ones who loved them for comfort when these things occurred. Who was there to comfort him during this? His distress was his alone.

There was no one.

Nobody was coming for him.

Elliot would continue to suffer alone, as he always had. Bringing his knees up to his chest, Elliot locked his arms around him and rocked slowly. No one would ever comfort him like this, and he had to be strong. But just for tonight, he would let himself mourn again.

/ - Gwen POV - /

It had been a fucking test. The whole set up, her being kidnapped, her blasting the brains out of those men after they'd told her what she wanted to know. For the whole night, after the event, Gwen's memory was blurry when it came to thoughts of what had happened. But after blacking out from exhaustion, when she woke, Gwen was pummelled with recollections.

The imagery of the blood, the eyes pleading her, it shook her to her core. Had that really been her? Had she really done that to all those men? For all their misdeeds, most of them had families to go home to. Someone would have to live without a father, without a husband and it had all been her fault. She had killed them.

After her actions, she knew that the higher-ups would be after her. But she didn't care.

 _Let them come._

She was tired and the determination from before had faded, leaving only a dull ache in its absence. She was growing tired of this act and all she wanted to do was go home and stick to her mundane jobs. Gwen, not for the first time in her life, just wanted to be normal.

* * *

It was around lunchtime when he appeared. Scared the living shit out of her as she walked from her bedroom to her kitchen only to find a stranger sitting at her dining table, flicking through the newspaper as if he lived there.

"The fuck are you?" She spat out as she drew a knife from its holder. The man calmly folded the newspaper and placed it on the table. He uncrossed his legs slowly and stood up. His slow, methodical actions put Gwen on edge, but her grip on the knife remained steady.

As he stepped toward her, Gwen felt her hand begin to tremble, ever so slightly. His calmness was creeping her out. The man acted as if he knew she wasn't going to hurt him

 _You are so wrong, buddy._

As he stepped within range, Gwen shifted her weight forward and charged at him, dodging under the hand that shot out and popping up behind him. When she swung for his neck, the man ducked and slammed back into her, grabbing the hand holding the knife and using it to swing her over him.

The throw slammed her into the ground and Gwen, winded, couldn't get up. He took the knife from her grasp and examined it.

"You know," he drawled out with a thick accent, "I wouldn't go trying to stab your uncle if I were you."

That got her attention and she slowly rolled over to the side, sitting up and trying to regain her breath. The man pulled the chair he had previously been sitting on over and plopped down on it. He crossed his legs again and straightened out the front of his blazer.

"Uncle? That's crazy, my dad has no brothers."

The man raised an eyebrow, his finger stopping at the tip of the knife. His gaze flicked over to her and he stared her down. "Last time I checked, uncles could be a mother's brother too."

Gwen was up with her hands grabbing the collar of his jacket. She stood a little shorter than him but had no trouble pulling his face down close to hers. "The fuck you say about my mother?"

"Relax, Lana."

That got her to let go and step back. Apart from Elliot, Gwen hadn't been called that name in a long time. It was her from another life, she felt. She was not that person anymore.

"Why would you let me kill them?" She blurted out.

"Who?"

"Your men."

"Ah," the man made a noise of understanding, "They were criminals anyway. Betrayed the family."

"So, you let them die?" She asked incredulously. The guy was insane.

"Well, you're the one that killed them, no?"

That made her speechless. This man was just full of surprises. Who was he?

"I'm not here for a merry little visit, niece. I'm here because I need to give you a warning. You need to stay out of this business. After all, your mother went to _so much effort_ to leave the family. You wouldn't want her efforts to go in vain, would you?"

Gwen stayed silent, mulling over his words.

"These men are dangerous. While you may consider yourself apt enough to take several of them on, the moment you face the masses, you will be slaughtered. You will not survive. The Dark Army is a dangerous group and I suggest you leave it alone. I don't know what your cute little vigilante hacker group think they can achieve, but I can assure you all you're doing is playing right into White Rose's hands right now."

"What do you have against the Dark Army?"

The man breathed a sigh and stood up as if he was tired of her questions. "They killed your mother, Lana. What more reason do I need?"

Speechless, once more.

As he turned to leave, Gwen grabbed his arm. The man didn't pull away, but he didn't turn back to look at her either.

"Were you the one who helped me escape? The one that's been giving me hints?"

That earned her a laugh. "No. Your hero hails a lot closer to home than you think. And you might want to check on your little saviour. It seems that someone powerful is playing with his head. Recently released news has surely got him in a tight spot. I'd say it is due time that you booked a flight home. Your little pet won't survive without you for long."

Gwen waited until the man had left before she sank onto the floor. So much had just happened and her head was doing laps as the thoughts spun round and round. She knew exactly who he was talking about, unfortunately.

 _Is it unfortunate? Maybe you knew all along. Who else would make you feel that thrilled, that angry and that excited at the same time?_

It only took her a few seconds to google the news back in the States. When she'd flicked through it, she knew exactly what the man was referring to. Gwen picked up her phone and dialed, trying to calm her beating heart.

/ - Elliot POV - /

 _Buzz buzz._

Elliot picked up his phone. He was numb. He was angry. Who was stupid enough to call him at this time?

 _Oh fuck. Fuck off._

It was Gwen.

Remaining silent, he placed the phone to his ear. On the other end, Gwen remained quiet too. Elliot slowly felt all the anger that had built up over the course of the night spill over and he opened his mouth to tell her to piss off.

Her soft, tired voice stopped him. She was shaking too, he could hear it in her voice. What was she doing?

"Elliot."

It was as if his heart simultaneously burst into happiness and in fear. On the one hand, hearing her say his name meant that whatever they had, whatever still existed post-breakdown in his apartment and post-China, it was enough to keep her around. On the other hand, how had she figured out it was him?

He'd been so careful.

Elliot, not knowing how to collect his thoughts, remained unspeaking.

Gwen breathed heavily on the other side, her intakes of air shaking slightly. It was so real that Elliot could almost feel it wrack through his own body. Something had happened that had made her this scared. But at that moment, Elliot was going through a hard time too.

He felt his anger return. Had she called him to console her? He had come so close to managing his feelings about her, so close to calling it quits on trying to rectify their situation. Had she come to draw him back into her clutches?

"Elliot, I'm so sorry you're going through this alone."

His breath hitched and he forced back his tears. It was as if her words had opened the floodgates, reduced his self-hating to a minimum and embraced him with so much comfort.

"I should have been there. I shouldn't be here chasing ghosts. You were so strong for me and all I've done is run. Let me help. Let me be worth something. I know it must feel as if you've lost him all over again. So please let me be here for you.

"Death is such an ugly thing. You deserve a hand to hold throughout this. Let me be here for you."

He had no words, no way to stop her. She was chipping him further while he was already cracked. In his emotional state, she could have said anything sweet and he would have let her in. He hadn't realised how desperate he was.

 _Oh god._

He was so desperate.

"Okay." His voice was raspy from the cold air and it came out barely above a whisper. But he knew that she'd heard him because moments after he'd spoken, her sweet voice filled his ear again.

She was singing, the song was so familiar to him and yet he couldn't place a finger on it. It reminded him of warm nights in bed, before his family had fallen apart. It reminded him of laughing with his father as they played around with gadgets.

It reminded him of what it felt like to be loved.

And suddenly, Gwen was crying too.

She kept going through her tears, her voice coming out strangled and breathy. Elliot couldn't hold it in any longer.

There, in that graveyard, staring at his father's tombstone, with Gwen's voice in his ear and her comfort warming him from the cold, Elliot let himself grieve.

Tears came sliding down his cheeks in streams and he hiccupped loudly. Gwen didn't pause at his break down, singing louder and clearer. It was as if she had forced herself to be strong, for him.

This only made it worst and he felt the first sob echo through his body. It was painful, to be crying this deeply. But he let himself. He let himself let go and cry out all his pain.

Because he had been wrong. He had been so wrong.

He did have somebody.

He wasn't alone.

Gwen had been holding his hand the whole time.

 **End Chapter 11.**


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